Rediscovering the Joy of Reading, especially Jane Austen

"Because they neither flattered herself nor her children, she could not believe them good-natured; and because they were fond of reading, she fancied them satirical: perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical; but that did not signify."
~Sense and Sensibility, Vol. 2, Chapter XIV, pg. 201.

This satirical self-consciousness is one of the reasons why I have had such an enjoyable time reading Sense and Sensibility. Although I had read Pride and Prejudice in high school, I don't think I understood Austen's wit and satire, which now makes me laugh out loud, making my family give me strange stares. I think I'm also drawn to her protagonists, who I, along with so many others, feel like we can relate to.

It now makes sense why so many people love her. I think Jane Austen brings the world together. haha.

I also like how Austen upholds virtue, while making a mockery of pride, foolishness, emotionalism, and impropriety.
It's quite refreshing reading well-written satirical fiction. And she "keeps it real" without having to indulge in crude sensuality. It's all good, clean fun.

An article on Crosswalk talks about how Austen's sense of right and wrong which stemmed from her faith is what draws many people in.
http://www.crosswalk.com/books/11552212/
The fact that people are drawn to her writing, I believe, shows how people innately have a higher sense of morality, attributing to a higher moral order.

After not having read a work of fiction for a semester since I graduated, and after not having read a work of fiction for fun since I don't even remember, it's quite exciting being able to enjoy fiction again and being able to choose what I want to read, instead of forcing myself to analyze a piece of literature for a class.

Oh, Reading! How I've missed you! It's like seeing a long-lost friend again. :)

(These last two posts have shown the extent of my English-major nerdiness...haha)

Compound Gerunds...How Many Can I Use in One Entry?

i am such an english nerd. haha.

GERUND PHRASE
Gerunds, verbals that end in -ing and that act as nouns, frequently are associated with modifiers and complements in a gerund phrase. These phrases function as units and can do anything that a noun can do. Notice that other phrases, especially prepositional phrases, are frequently part of the gerund phrase.
Cramming for tests is not a good study strategy. [gerund phrase as subject]
John enjoyed swimming in the lake after dark. [gerund phrase as object]
I'm really not interested in studying biochemistry for the rest of my life. [gerund phrase as object of the preposition in ]

(http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/phrases.htm#participle)

How do I describe my first semester at seminary? It's definitely been:

life-challenging
mind-stretching
heart-wrenching
soul-searching
God-wrestling
love-filling
Spirit-experiencing
ministry-giving
grace-receiving
community-building
direction-changing
fear-facing
music-making
spontaneous-singing
joy-fulfilling
vision-adjusting
Truth-learning
Gospel-centering
season-grieving
present-embracing
future-surrendering
motivation-processing.
Christ-praising.

The more I learn about God, the more I realize how much I don't understand, and how His grace is truly sufficient in my weakness.

O Heart Bereaved and Lonely

So I discovered another group of musicians who put old, unfamiliar hymns to modern music called Indelible Grace Music from one of my friend's facebooks.
I downloaded their latest album, "Wake Thy Slumbering Children."
It's such a good album! Amazing lyrics and sweet music. I'm a big fan.
I like all of the songs, and it's hard for me to decide which is my favorite right now, but here is one of the songs I thought had beautiful lyrics.

It's a hymn written by Fanny Crosby called "O Heart Bereaved and Lonely." Fanny Crosby is one of the greatest hymn writers. She wrote familiar hymns such as "Blessed Assurance," "To God Be the Glory," and "Jesus Is Tenderly Calling You Home."

"Fanny Cros­by was prob­ab­ly the most pro­lif­ic hymn­ist in his­to­ry. Though blind­ed by an in­com­pe­tent doc­tor at six weeks of age, she wrote over 8,000 hymns. About her blind­ness, she said:

It seemed in­tend­ed by the bless­ed prov­i­dence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dis­pen­sa­tion. If per­fect earth­ly sight were of­fered me to­mor­row I would not ac­cept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been dis­tract­ed by the beau­ti­ful and in­ter­est­ing things about me.

In her life­time, Fan­ny Cros­by was one of the best known wo­men in the Unit­ed States. To this day, the vast ma­jor­i­ty of Amer­i­can hymn­als con­tain her work."

(http://www.cyberhymnal.org/bio/c/r/o/crosby_fj.htm)

Wow! What an inspiration! This lady is one of my heroes. :)

O Heart Bereaved And Lonely

1. O heart bereaved and lonely,
Whose brightest dreams have fled
Whose hopes like summer roses,
Are withered crushed and dead
Though link by link be broken,
And tears unseen may fall
Look up amid thy sorrow,
To Him who knows it all

2. O cling to thy Redeemer,
Thy Savior, Brother, Friend
Believe and trust His promise,
To keep you till the end
O watch and wait with patience,
And question all you will
His arms of love and mercy,
Are round about thee still

3. Look up, the clouds are breaking,
The storm will soon be o'er
And thou shall reach the haven,
Where sorrows are no more
Look up, be not discouraged;
Trust on, whate'er befall
Remember, O remember,
Thy Savior knows it all

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

I love this hymn.

Why should I feel discouraged,
why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth,
but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,
whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

After praying and processing in the car this past weekend - seeing the depth of the ways I try to take control, instead of surrendering my life to God - I started singing this song.

I Like It When Kids Cry

By the title, you might think I'm some kind of mean person. Let me explain myself...

Whenever I try to leave my pastor's house, his 2 year old daughter grabs my hand and makes me sit down. She says, "Stay." After watching a few minutes of her cartoons of unknown animals or hand puppets, I try to get up without her noticing. Her eyes are glued to the T.V., but out of the corner of her eye, she sees me inching towards the door, grabs my hand again, and says, "Stay." I tell her, "Micah, I have to go now. Sorry. I'll see you later. Bye." She starts crying and her mommy says to give me a hug and a kiss, and says "Bye, Tita Grace."

I feel loved when she tries to get me to stay, and then starts crying when I leave. I feel loved because she wants me to stay with her and is sad that I'm leaving. She just wants my presence. I feel loved when she calls me "Tita Grace," and knows my name. - That's why I like it when kids cry.

Oh, I love the simplicity of children and the joy they bring.

Missions Fundraising Concert

My church, Congregational Christian Church, is hosting a Missions Fundraising Concert. Please invite all your friends to come!

On November 2nd, The 10 member singing group "MAJESTY" from The Masters College (http://www.masters.edu/) are coming to minister in song and help our fundraising efforts. We have tickets but all are welcome to come. It will be held at the First Church of the Nazarene, 3700 East Sierra Madre Blvd, Pasadena, CA 91107. The doors will be open at 5:30 pm.Your $20 or my $10 may not go far, but if we pool our petty cash together, we can make a significant difference to a church, a body of believers. The picture on the left is of a church plant in the Philippines still unfinished after two years because of lack of funds.
We are realizing that the best way to impact our world is through church planting. Hence, we are raising funds for our church planting projects:
SHORT TERM: Help build or complete a church building for one or more of our church planters.
LONG TERM: Support a local church planter full time so they can focus on equipping the people and reaching out to the lost. We desire to support local church planters from different nations such as Russia, China, Africa, South America, etc. You can go to www.firstgiving.com/cccmissions to donate toward kingdom building. If you would like to help, please contact Pastor Bryan, sidlakxii@yahoo.com, (213) 383-4321.

The Start of Seminary.

I love how God always breaks down all my preconceived notions, fears, and anxieties - which always shows His faithfulness despite my lack of trust in Him.

Preconceived Notion: Most of my classmates at Talbot would be middle-aged Caucasian men already very experienced in ministry.
Reality: I've met a very diverse group of people: young, older, men, women, varying ethnicities, varying ministries, varying occupations, from the entertainment biz to elementary school teachers.

Preconceived Notion: Seminary would answer many of my theological questions.
Reality: Theology class is probably the most confusing class I have, which raises more questions.

Fear: I would be lonely in grad school.
Reality: I know at least one person in each of my classes, either previously friends with them, or became friends with them this past week. I also see Erin all the time. Yay!

Fear: I would not have good community after leaving UCLA.
Reality: God's provided sweet community for me through my church and through my teammates from Japan, and I still keep in touch with my UCLA community.

Fear: Driving would be a horrendous experience, and I would get into many accidents.
Reality: It's really not so bad, and I've discovered that I love singing in the car, because I can sing as loud as I want and not worry if I sound good. haha.

Fear: I don't know how I'll make money during my time in grad school.
Reality: Job openings at church. Getting paid for doing things I already love doing.

Oh, how my finite mind looks only at the physical, and not at the spiritual. I feel like one of Jesus' disciples many times as they worried about how Jesus was going to feed the multitudes of people even though they already saw Him feed 5,000 people before.

We just studied Mark 8 last Thursday during C.A.R.E. group, so this is fresh in my mind. One of the questions was "When have you acted similarly, not expecting God to work just after he has met a need in your life?"
As all these fears arise as I start seminary, I realize I lack trust in God, even though I've seen Him guide me and get me to this point.

I hear Jesus saying, "Oh, you of little faith! Just trust in me."

I am a worrier.

Lord, increase my faith.

In the Cross Alone I Glory.

new favorite modern hymn.

In the Cross Alone I Glory

In the cross alone I glory
Recognition laying down
Greatest treasures count as worthless
Standing next to Heaven’s crowns
Standing next to Heaven’s crowns

In the cross alone I glory
Ever reaching for the prize
Pressing on and laying hold of
That for which my savior died
That for which my savior died

In the cross alone I glory
Nothing of my own to give
Only that which Christ has offered
For my soul that I may live
For my soul that I may live

In the cross alone I glory
Holding fast the word of life
Toiling not in vain but being
Poured out as a sacrifice
Poured out as a sacrifice

Never will I seek the glory
That was never meant for me
Always heavenward reflecting
All to Jesus to receive
All to Jesus to receive
All to Jesus to receive

Listen to it here: http://www.worshiptogether.com/songs/songdetail.aspx?iid=561619

We've sang this song a few times at church. Last Sunday, during evening service, this song brought me to tears. These are such hard words to sing. Yet, also so freeing. What a paradox.

I went to the New Student Banquet for Talbot today at Biola. I'm excited to start classes on Wednesday :)

120 Years, One Foundation

(Photo caption: Friday night during our Fiesta celebration, celebrating it Filipino style, serving food on banana leaves. We're one happy family :)

Praise God for a sweet 120th Anniversary for my church, Congregational Christian Church last Sunday. God has been so faithful to us through all these years!

How Reading Rocks My World...Haha...I'm such a nerd

I've been reading some very different books, but all have rocked my view of the world. Some quotes from each:

Book One: Knowing God by J.I. Packer

It's actually a quote from another book:
"Zeal in religion is a burning desire to please God, to do His will, and to advance His glory in the world in every possible way. It is a desire which no man feels by nature - which the Spirit puts in the heart of every believer when he is converted - but which some believers feel so much more strongly than others that they alone deserve to be called 'zealous' men..."
- From Practical Religion by Bishop J.C. Ryle

Book Two: Heaven by Randy Alcorn

"As human beings, whom God made to be both physical and spiritual, we are not designed to live in a non-physical realm - indeed, we are incapable of even imagining such a place (or rather, a non-place). An incorporeal state is not only unfamiliar to our experience, it is also incompatible with our God-given constitution. We are not, as Plato supposed, merely spiritual beings temporarily encased in bodies. Adam did not become a "living being" - the Hebrew word nephesh - until he was both body and spirit (Genesis 2:7). We are physical beings as much as we are spiritual beings. That's why our bodily resurrection is essential to endow us with eternal righteous humanity, setting us free from sin, the Curse, and death." (Pg. 16)

Book Three: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp

"In contrast, there should be no pressure for good grades at all. Grades are unimportant. Some children can achieve "A's" without any diligent effort. Others struggle for a good solid "C". What is important is that your child learn to do his work diligently for God. God has promised that he will reward the faithful. Knowing that gifts and abilities are a stewardship from the Lord, your child's objective should be faithfulness. You need to train your child to find in Christ the strength and power to work for GOd's glory. Anything else is training him to think and act unbiblically."
(Pg. 55)

New JJ Heller Album for Free!

Processing.

(Some of my fam. From Left to Right: Mom, Tita Elly and Tito Sebio (just came from the Philippines), Tita Choleng, Mildred, Tito Rado, Aldren)

(Warning: Long Journal Entry Part of my Post Project Processing. haha)

It's been pretty busy for me the past few days since arriving. My uncle and aunt just arrived from the Philippines the night I arrived and they're staying with us. So the rest of my family's been over and we've been entertaining them the past few days. If you don't know, my mom is from a family of 9 children, so you can just think of how many people have been in and out of my house the past few days. haha. It's been super fun and I've really enjoyed spending time with my family, and talking to my Tito Sebio, from the Philippines. I'm realizing that alot of my verbal/English/teaching/activist tendencies come from him. He was a college professor and he fought for teacher's rights in the late 60's and early 70's before martial law in the Philippines. He even talked with President Marcos. He has some pretty sweet stories.

Anyways, since all that jazz is happening, it's been harder for me to sit still and just process. And when I do have time to sit still, I get busy with trying to figure out classes and financial aid stuff for Biola, which is a bit stressful for me, since I was supposed to have most of this done before I left for Japan. oops. O well.

So as I was cooking rice today, I started processing through some of the things I learned this past month. Maybe it's because rice makes me think of Japan, I'm not really sure why. Or maybe it was just because I read Easter's blog about her Epic trip to SanFran and it made me think of things. (Thanks Easter :) Although, I'm realizing how God has been breaking down alot of the ways I compartmentalize things and that I don't necessarily have to be in a room by myself for a long period of time to process through things. (Alot of the time, actually, I find that I think of things during the most random times like sitting on the toilet or in the shower. haha. I'm guessing that I gave you way too much info.) I also find that I process through things as I talk to people too. So I don't think I'm a complete internal or external processor, I guess it's a both/and; maybe I just tend to lean on being more internal.

I also realized on this trip that I'm alot more extroverted than I say or think I am. I'm still an introvert, but I definitely love being with people and talking to people and pouring out. Although it's tiring, it's like this joyful kind of tired. Like I'm super happy when I'm with people. And so when I do have quiet times with God it's even more refreshing, even when I only have like a couple of minutes. I think that God broke down alot of the ways I think about what a quiet time or spending time with Him looks like. Often times, I find comfort in routine and having consistent quiet times with God in the morning and at night. For awhile, because I wasn't having this consistency on project, I was feeling really down and beat up on myself alot. One morning Kester prayed for me (Aww, I miss Kester Pard! He's one of our teammates from Indonesia, but studying at Penn State for college), and he prayed that God would break down my whole notion of what a quiet time looks like, that it doesn't necessarily have to be what I want it to be, that even when I just have a few moments with the Lord throughout the day, that those would be just as refreshing as spending hours with Him. He reminded me that we were there to minister to others, and that in that jam-packed super flexible schedule and being with our team all the time, we might not be able to have the same kind of quiet times we have at home with our normal day-to-day schedule. I really felt God's grace and a sense of freedom when he prayed that over me. Not saying that long hours and consistent quiet times are bad, they're really very good, but sometimes we don't have that kind of time, and God is still so gracious. I'm realizing that because of the consistent quiet times in the past, alot of His Word has been hidden in my heart, and that just at the right times, even during a few seconds, He reminded me of the Words that I just needed to hear that very second. His love is free, I don't have to think I'm a "good" Christian, doing all the "right" things to receive His love. Oh my legalistic attitude! May God break it down more and more!



(Photo Caption: Me and Kester, my Southeast Asian brother, haha)

I also realized that through having this notion of a quiet time, that I have been very prideful in the past, thinking I was some "super spiritual" Christian because I spent hours alone with God, and God constantly reminds me how I'm no better than anyone else, that I need His grace just as much as anyone else, that I'm not a "super spiritual" Christian, that it's hard for me to be excited about spiritual things sometimes even when other people are excited about it. Just because I'm going to seminary, doesn't mean I'm at the top of the spiritual ladder or anything. I'm just as broken and just as in process as everyone else.

God gives me just the right amount of energy and grace I need to minister to others, even when I don't think I've spent enough time with Him, and through spending time with others, I experience His love and grace. Many times I thought I was ministering to others, I realize that God was ministering to me in those times.

God is so good. He is so gracious, and I'm fully redeemed solely by His love.

Thanks to Lyndsey, I got the Koenji train station ringtone, and it makes me so happy :)

I was listening to God of the City while journaling all of these thoughts, then I fell asleep and woke up to her calling me with the Koenji ringtone! It made me really happy :)

(Photo Caption: Lyndsey and I modeling our new makeovers during the women's outreach)



P.P.S. Now that Josh and Britt's engagement is facebook official I can now post pictures and say how excited I am that they're engaged! So excited! I cried when I watched it happen! This was definitely the best moment of the whole summer! It was beautiful! I'm so happy for them! Yay! Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Morey to be! :) My Epic Parents are going to be legit now! Yay!


Oh yeah, Here some other pictures that I got from other people that correspond to some of my past posts:

The Toyo Team with the Japanese-Hawaiian Christian teacher, Kent.

Some of my team with Satoshi's group of friends (all in Kent's English class). Satoshi was the one who talked to Kent to let us talk to his class. From left back to right front: (Lilico, Toyo student; Jessica, teammate; Wilson, teammate; Kazwake, Toyo student; Acchan, Toyo student; Nonchan, Toyo student; Yoshko, Toyo student; Jon, teammate; Satoshi, Toyo student)I will never forget what Satoshi said to me at the train station as we were leaving. He said, "Many Japanese have many prejudices against Christianity and religion, but your team has helped break down those prejudices for me. I know that your team was God's gift to me. Thank you for showing me God's love. I will read and study the Bible even when you leave." He hasn't accepted Christ yet, but I know that God is working in his life. He facebook messaged me yesterday and told me how he was reading 1 Thessalonians and really liked the words, "Rejoice always." It made me really happy. Please pray that God would reveal Himself to Satoshi and that through studying God's Word, that He would truly understand the Gospel.

At Home.

It's strange. I'm home. I miss Japan. I miss my team. Hopefully, I'll see some of them tomorrow at Disneyland. :)

At Debriefing.

(Our team in front of the world at Disney Sea)

Wow. I can't believe project is almost over. We go home in two days after debriefing in Kawaguchiko at the foot of Mt. Fuji. It's crazy how fast project's gone by. Vivan, one of the Epic national staff who's helping debrief us, told us that we should prepare a one word answer to give to people when they ask us, so "How was your summer?" If you ask me in person I'll probably respond: FUN. She also said to prepare a one sentence answer. So my answer is: I had the most fun summer of my life.

I feel like I don't sound as spiritual because I haven't said all of the things that God has done this summer in Tokyo, in my team, and in my heart. But how am I supposed to explain to people the tremendous work that He's done and explain my experience in one sentence? It's pretty much impossible. So I'll stick with FUN.

I don't think I've ever laughed as hard and as much as I did this past month and a half. I love my team. God is a God of joy.

By the way, if you haven't checked out my pictures, I posted some of them on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=2525980

I'm actually on album #5, and I still have more to post.

P.S. Mt. Fuji is beautiful. I love the Japanese countryside.

P.P.S. Please pray for me as I transition back to the U.S. It's always harder for me to transition back to America. Please pray that I would stay connected with people from my team and that I would not have a critical and judgemental attitude on America and Los Angeles. Please also pray for me as I process through the summer, that God would help me take back the things I've learned and apply them in my ministry at home. Please also pray for me as I start seminary at the end of August. While I'm super excited about going to Biola and studying the Bible, I still have many fears and questions about the future and going into full-time ministry. I'm also really sad about leaving the UCLA community and Japan project community. Please pray that this would also be a smooth transition.

Thanks again so much for all your prayers!

The Last Lap.

(Photo Caption: From back left: Stef, Lyndsey, Naomi, Mai, Carolin, Grace Shin, and I waiting to go to the top of the Tokyo Tower)

Last Thursday, we spent our last time with two friends, Naomi and Mai, who are from International Christian University. Although this university is Christian by name, they are no longer a Christian university. Yet, both Naomi and Mai have been coming to church with us and are very interested in learning more about Christianity. We went to Tokyo Tower and saw the beautiful skyline of Japan.

The song by Chris Tomlin, "God of the City" came to mind as I looked over the city. Josh put this song on repeat during one of our prayer times, so it was pretty fresh in my mind.

These are the lyrics:

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this City

You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You AreYou're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are

Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here.

Please continue to pray for breakthrough in Tokyo. Please pray for Naomi and Mai as God would open up their hearts to the Gospel as they learn more about what it means to have a genuine relationship with God. Please also continue to pray for strength for our team to finish strong and to be united.

I can't believe that it's already the last week of project. It went by way too fast! We are going to Disney Sea tomorrow, having our last couple of days on campus, then heading to Mt. Fuji on Thursday for debriefing. I've had an amazing time in Japan, and as I was reflecting about the trip, I realized that the biggest thing I've learned on project is learning how to be comfortable with who God made me to be and my identity in Him - using my God-given gifts and abilities for His glory and for building up the body; and knowing and admitting my areas of weakness. I've been surprisingly comfortable here around my team, exposing my weird and crazy self, yet they still love me and are still blessed by me. I think, "Wow, this must be God's grace because I feel like I'm so foolish and strange at times, so I know it's not anything I do." I've been thinking about Joshua 1:9 for awhile, and I guess this is what it means to be strong and courageous because God is with me. I don't feel like I have to put on this "super spiritual" front like before, but can act like my normal self. I'm learning that this is what it means to do ministry out of an overflow of love and out of a confidence in my identity in Christ, instead of doing ministry for appearance' sake - like a self-righteous Pharisee, which is what I'm sometimes inclined to do. I've realized that alot of my natural tendency is to be legalistic and have a performanced-based relationship with God, thinking that if I do more for Him, He'll love me more. I think I've experienced alot of His grace through my team, which has definitely deepened my understanding that my relationship with Him is solely by grace, and nothing of my own doing.
I've been so encouraged by my team and their faith and boldness for Christ. It's been so awesome spending these past few weeks with them, I feel like I'm going to have really bad summer project withdrawal when I get home. haha.
Although today, we went to a church that reminded me of my church, and I started really missing home.

Please also continue to pray that God would teach me what true humility, authenticity, and grace is.

Thanks so much!

Fun Times.

I've learned much about contemporary Japanese fashion and culture the past few days.

Here are some pictures to show you what I've learned:




<-- Japanese baseball games are so much better than American baseball games because of all their awesome cheers and enthusiasm.

Fashion is all about dressing up and looking cute -->

It's all about the hair and expression!

Hope you got a kick out of that!

Amazing Day.

(Me, Lauren, Kei, Erin, Anita, and Brittany)

So we had a really good day today! One of the girls, Kei, from Tsuda University went to the Student Impact meeting that we went to today. Lauren, Erin, and I had the chance to share the Gospel with her and she was very open and engaged with us the whole time. She wanted to pray to receive Christ so we went to a quieter room with her and Brittany and we prayed with her. She was so sweet and genuinely wanted to learn more about Christ and the Bible. She is so open to learning more about what it means to follow Christ. It was cool, because at the beginning of the conversation, she said she had no faith or religion, and then throughout the whole time we were sharing the Gospel with her, she was very interested and excited to hear about it, and then she said how she wanted to put Christ at the center of her life and accept Him. She said that it was the first time she had heard the complete Gospel and that after hearing the Gospel, her whole way of thinking changed. She felt very happy after we prayed with her and told her that she can pray to God anytime she wants to pray to Him. So exciting! Praise God! I believe that He is working mightily in her life, and that she made a large step today in wanting to know more about Christ. Please continue to pray for her, that God would continue to reveal Himself to her, and that she would come to a deeper understanding of the Gospel and what it means to truly follow Christ. I praise God that we have a partnership with J.C.C.C and that the staff women can follow up with her. So cool! It's exciting to see God work!

In the Classroom

Today we had the opportunity to join an English conversation class. One of the students that the guys have been meeting up with, Satoshi, asked his English conversation professor if we could come to class. So the teacher lets us go to his class and have discussion groups with the students, and we find out he is a Christian too! He is a Japanese-American from Hawaii and teaches English at Toyo University. It was such a blessing meeting him! He split the class into groups and we got to go around talking to the students. The crazy thing is that we had already met half of the class during our random evangelism times, and we had no idea that they were all in the same class when we had met them. So we saw many familiar faces. At the end of the class, the teacher said in front of the whole class of around 30 students, "I am not only connected to these group of students from America because we are all Asian-America, but we are also all Christians and brothers and sisters in Christ. This group of students came all the way from America to tell you that God loves you and that Jesus Christ died for you." Wow! Now I was amazed that he was saying this in front of the class at a secular university! That's such a bold step! And we were worried that he was putting his job on the line, which is quite possible. But wow, I was so encouraged by that professor! He's so cool! Hopefully, we'll be able to keep in contact with him. I believe that God is truly working in the classroom through that teacher, and that teacher has probably been praying for that class. So exciting to see!

Yeah, we've been having some really awesome stories. Brittany got to see a girl come to know Christ at the 4th of July outreach event. You can read more about it on her blog: http://brittanywong.blogspot.com/

Praise God for what He's doing in Japan!

Please pray for more hearts to be opened in Japan. We are praying a student from each university, Toyo, Todai, Tsuda, and Rikyo to come to know Christ this week. Please continue to pray for strength, boldness, compassion, and love.
Although today was a really good day, I really felt tired and a bit distracted even while talking to students. It was hard for me to focus on the conversation at times, and it takes alot more energy talking to Japanese students, initating with them, and trying to understand them.

We're Free!

John 8:36
"So if the Son makes you free , you will be free indeed."

Happy 4th of July everyone! Yay, we're free!

Today was such a sweet day! Even though I felt really tired this morning, God was gracious in giving me energy to get through the day. But now I'm so excited from the times we've spent with our friends, that I'm energized again. We went to another campus today, Tsuda college, which is an all girls school. We met with Jessica, one of the STINTers, Naomi, one of the JCCC staff, and Anita, one of the JCCC staff from Taiwan on the way to campus. The campus is really nice, it's surrounded by trees, and looks like an East Coast college. It's really peaceful and very different from Toyo University which is very modern-looking. We had an English lunch and talked to two girls. We also met the team from Taiwan, which was cool. Lyndsey and I befriended three girls in the cafeteria and they were very friendly. Hopefully, we will be able to eat ice cream with them next Friday.

By this time, around 5 pm, I was feeling really tired, but we still had the 4th of July outreach that we were hosting. Thankfully, being around all of the students actually energized me, and then two girls from Tsuda came and we were able to talk to them for quite awhile. They were so nice and friendly. We even ate dinner with them at Ootsoya afterwards. Naomi, a JCCC staffer, and her husband, Takano, also came to eat with us. It was really fun talking with them, and I didn't feel tired afterwards. I actually felt more energized because they were excited to hang out with us and also asked us questions, so it wasn't as difficult to keep the converation flowing.



An interesting thing happened to be at the outreach party. They played a short video about Student Impact (It's the name of Japanese Campus Crusade for Christ in Japan), and all the different ministries of Student Impact, and I started crying, seeing how the Lord is working in Japan through Student Impact. It's so amazing!

I think one of the things that touched me the most was meeting one of the students that came to Christ this year through the Gospel Choir. It's cool because I read about her in Laura's STINT prayer update letters, and it was so cool meeting her in person. The world has become such a smaller place. Yesterday, I also met some Toyo students who went to UCLA for the homestay program, so I've seen them before when they came, and they know many mutual friends. It's a small world after all.

Day 5

I've been really enjoying these past few days. It's been great being on campus at Toyo University and meeting students. There are only 4 Christians on a university of 30,000. Although this sounds like such a daunting task, it's been very encouraging meeting the Christian students on campus like Daichi and Yuki. They are so excited that we are here and they have such a heart for their campus. It's so encouraging seeing their love for God despite their small numbers. It must be so hard to be one of the few Christians in a place of hard soil. I've also been blessed by the partnership we have with Japanese Campus Crusade for Christ. Today Erin and I went out meeting students with one of the JCCC staff, Fumi, and it was cool seeing how we could tag team it, as students wanted to talk to us since we're foreigners, but then she could go deeper into spiritual things. She was able to share the Gospel to one of the girls we met, and it was so uplifting to see the Gospel shared in a different language. Even though we speak different languages, the Gospel is the same.

(Photo Caption: Erin, Fumi, and I, and yes, I am wearing suspenders with culottes. I figured I could totally get away with wearing this in Japan, since their style is so different, haha, and if it's not fashionable here, I could always use the excuse that I'm a foreigner.)

We also met this other guy named Satoshi who is really excited that we're here and he's introduced us to alot of his friends. A highlight for me was finding out that he listened to Rilo Kiley. If you don't know Rilo Kiley, they're an indie band from Echo Park, so it was just really surprising that a Japanese student knew who they are, since they're not super popular in America. I've seen them live twice, and although I haven't listened to their music for awhile, I still think Jenny Lewis has a beautiful voice and was excited to hear that he knew who they were.

<--Team Dinner at Big Momma's. I also have really enjoyed being with my team and learning about the culture in Japan. It's only Day 5, and I already feel really comfortable with my team. (I mean, really comfortable. I've already revealed my crazy emo/hardcore/headbanging days with them, and I've worn suspenders with culottes, who does that? I've definitely exposed my weird/crazy side that usually takes awhile to come out). It's really interesting seeing how comfortable I am with my team. Even though I know it's really different, I feel like I compare my experience in East Asia to my experience here often. It took me awhile to feel really comfortable in East Asia, and I'm not sure if I even felt this comfortable with everybody on my team. I know that alot of it is due to the different natures of the projects, like how here our whole team can actually be together alot, and in East Asia, we couldn't really be together as a team as much for security purposes. Another reason why I probably feel more comfortable this time around is because I knew some of the people coming into the project, like Brittany, Josh, and Kris. I didn't think that ethnicity really mattered to me that much, but it really does affect me, and I think because this is an Epic project with all Asian-Americans, I've felt like I can connect with people better. I actually feel more outgoing and outspoken, which is quite strange, since people usually think I'm quiet and reserved.

On that note, it's been a good thing having alot of people time, but at the same time, I feel like I haven't been spending as much quality time with God. Please pray that I would really take the time to spend time with God and really get my fuel and feeding from Him, because without relying on Him, I know I will burn out really fast. Thanks for all your prayers. I love you all! (Me in my Yukata, modeling a map of Japan)

We're here!

We finally arrived in Tokyo last night after many hours of travelling. It's really nice having leaders who are familiar with the area and know how to get around. Carrying luggage around and travelling was quite an adventure, but we made it to our apartments safe and sound. It's been such a fun day. I can't believe we've only been here for a day. I feel like I've been here so long, I guess it's because I feel pretty comfortable here, since I love Asia. We're staying in this busy commercial area of Koenji. Our apartment is really cute and fully furnished. We went on a scavenger hunt this morning around the city and then went to this Hawaiian-Japanese international church which was a fun experience. It was really neat worshipping God on the other side of the world with brothers and sisters in Christ.

On another note, the food here is soo good! Since I'm like falling asleep now, I think I will update more later and add pictures...

Leaving tomorrow!

It's been super sweet spending time and getting to know people on my team. I think we are all super anxious to go now. We're the only team left at Vanguard University out of all of the WSN international teams, so we're just waiting around until we leave tomorrow for the airport at 4:30 am. God has been so faithful. Our team was short $11,000 two days ago, and today they just announced that we made all of our support! Praise God! I'm super excited to see what God is going to do in Japan and I'm ready to go!

Japan Prayer Requests

I can't believe briefing is next week! So excited for Japan! Briefing starts on the 24th and we leave for Tokyo on the 27th! Please pray for:

--Breakthrough in Japan!!! (yes!) - With 127 million people in Japan, and 0.7 percent of those being Christian, Japan is the largest un-reached people group in the world. That will change as laborers are raised up to share with this dying nation. Many have never even heard the Gospel.

--For wisdom and guidance for our project leaders: Darrin and Vivian Mabuni, Tricia Kavle, Joshua Morey, Brittany Wong, Steph Cheng, Nich Beebee, and Wayne Katayama.

--For all of our final support to come in.

--For our team to be united and to represent Christ's love in our body - There are a total of 40 of us from all different schools in the U.S. Most of us are meeting each other for the first time next week. We'll be split into two teams: one going to Tokyo and Nagoya. I'll be on the Tokyo team.

--For boldness and compassion for us as we share the Gospel of Christ.

--For many Japanese souls who will meet Christ through us, that God would prepare their hearts now to hear the great news of His grace and that the Holy Spirit would illumine their hearts to know how great His love is for them.

--For Japanese staff as they prepare to host us in Japan, that we would be a blessing to them.

Thank you for your partnership with me in the Gospel for the glory of God!

Help Build a Well.

Time hit me...

It hit me today that I graduated. I cried tears of sadness mixed with joy and gratitude. What an amazing season of growth. God is so faithful!

UCLA Alum...

I can't believe that I graduated yesterday. It feels strange when I tell people that I'm a college graduate. It's like I'm a real grown-up now or something. That's strange. I haven't really processed all of it yet in the midst of all the craziness of the past few days. Time flies by so fast. Maybe one of these days the reality of it will hit me in the face.

The News.

It's where beauty and death are one.
The sun rises.
They fall
From the jagged edge
Of sunset.
He talked, I listened:
Hope for my wife and children.
Flowers sat on the road.
Letters from the government haunt him
Forever.

It's where innocence and death collide.
Where children once laughed,
Parents shout
From the anger that replaces grief.
They fall
From the unstable walls.
Dust and ashes.
It's all rubble.

I watched the news today.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/06/10/lah.japan.suicide.cliff.cnn

Why Can't You Just Be Real?

Why can't you just be real?
I don't want to see a mask
Or a painted face full of securities.
Why can't you just peel
Off your made up skins?
I only see one dimension.
Let me see what's deeper
What's inside
What hurts.
You're afraid of me.
I'm sorry.
Onions make me cry.

Words of Wisdom from Bach.

So as I was lying down on the floor due to back problems, I noticed this quote on my wall which I have ignored for years:

"The aim and final end of all music should none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul."

~Johann Sebastian Bach

I think when I bought this poster in 7th grade, I bought it because of the pretty picture of the piano, not even realizing the gravity of this statement. And 8 years later, it has hit me.

God works in funny ways. He understands us so well - how forgetful we are.

Whoo!

I got into Biola for grad school! yay! so excited! God is so good!

A Few More Weeks...

I took my last midterm of my undergraduate career today. I only have a few more weeks at UCLA, 5 to be exact, which is really quite strange. This place has been my home for these past 3 years. I've loved it from the beginning, and love it even more now. I was looking through my pictures over my college years, and it's really been such a sweet time. As I reflect on my time here, I realize just how faithful God has been to me through the years and how He's grown me and changed me in many unexpected ways. It's interesting that the more I learn about God, the more I realize I don't know anything, and the more I think I've got something figured out, the more I realize I don't have anything figured out. And the more I see the gravity of the sin in my life, the more amazing and sweet God's grace becomes. I guess that's why I love this paradox.

At Epic, we went through Philippians 3:1-11, and so, I've been thinking about Philippians 3:8-9 for the past few days,

"Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith."

Do I really count everything as loss compared to knowing Christ? Have I really suffered the loss of all things? So many times, I take pride in my own strength and intelligence - in my own merits and accomplishments instead of attributing praise to Christ and seeing Him as greater than everything, my number one Treasure. I want to gain Christ and know what it means to gain Christ. Through His cross and through His righteousness, He has allowed me to be God's child. So that God sees Christ's blood that covers me, instead of my sin. How marvelous and amazing is that! He no longer sees my sin and my wretchedness, but lovingly looks at me with endearing eyes of grace as a Father looks lovingly at his child. I am completely free from condemnation through Christ, and I don't need to attempt to attain His righteousness, because He has already given it to me. So many times, I forget this, and fall in a legalistic attitude, that if I did more, God would love me more, but how utterly gross this attitude is. God has already cleansed me and freed me from guilt and shame, and I can walk in the confidence and joy that God has saved me.

On another note, I'm so excited about Japan! Whoo! Tokyo here I come! We got our Epic: Tokyo Project notebooks and I'm super stoked! Whoo!

Ironman.

My brother told me today that I am Ironman. dadadanananana....

waiting.

i sent in my application to grad school...

now the waiting begins.

by the way, the ucla campus is beautiful, especially at night. i'm going to miss it greatly.

generations of blessings.

i'm realizing more and more what a blessing it is to be in a family-oriented, multi-generational church, and how many college students don't get to be a part of this kind of environment.

honestly, i'm sometimes discouraged because i'm one of the few college-age people at my church, and i sometimes wish there were more people my age. but as i think about it more, it's been amazing to experience the community of believers of all ages - to gain bits of wisdom from those who are older, and to experience the joy of children.

i'm also really grateful for the sweet community God has blessed me with at UCLA. i shouldn't believe the lies that i'm a lone ranger, because i know i'm not, and God has shown me His love and grace over and over again through amazing people.

Spontaneous Poetry

I haven't written poetry in awhile - I think since freshman year. Maybe I should start again. I think reading T.S. Eliot and William Faulkner inspired me...plus the Acting on Aids event made me think...and I've been thinking about Philippines again...

Here it goes:

It bothers me to see the streets
filled with children who have no food to eat
And their bones protrude from their skin:
The outline of a skeleton.
"Ma'am, ma'am"
with opened hand,
requesting just a dime.
I don't have time.
In their eyes a fire burns
To survive
To try
To see
the next day alive.
I watch it from this balcony
Where I can't touch them
Or feed them
Or clothe them
Or hug them.
A gap -
It grows and I don't know how to stop it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know
what to do.

Grown-up.

So after the events of this week, I feel like I've outgrown many things such as:

- spending a day at the mall
- listening to screamo/hardcore music and going to screamo/hardcore shows
- loitering around the burbank area

These activities are just not as exciting as they used to be (like in high school, or even freshman year of college) and I'm really exhausted from the freedom of hanging out and driving all around L.A.

spring break is exhausting. i need another week to hibernate.

i think i find more enjoyment in intimate dinner parties and good conversations.

i am old. it's official. i'm 21 - all grown-up.

Winter Quarter Lessons

Some things I learned this quarter (or actually what I learn every quarter over and over again):

- Patience: I need more of it.

- Faith: I need more of it.

- Compassion: I need more of it.

- Boldness: I need more of it.

- Music: I love it.

- Community: It's there.

- Friendships: I need to be more intentional.

- Keeping in Touch: I suck at it.

- Rest: I need more of it.

- Prayer: There's never too much of it.

- God's Word: It's TRUTH. It's SWEET. It's LIFE.

--------

Ahhhh! I only have a quarter left at UCLA. Not ready. No, not at all.

Filipino-American.

I think I'm off the Philippines high.

I really do have a dual identity: Filipino-American.

It's nice :)