blue and gold

After giving in to peer pressure from Aggie to go to the Beat 'SC rally and bonfire, I went and experienced the masses of blue and gold enthusiasts. Hundreds of UCLA students standing around a large pile anticipating the lighting of the bonfire. And then it's lit: this fire. and we cheer. It goes higher and higher, and sparks start to fly. We cheer and do some more 8 claps as the band plays. My face is burning from the heat and the sparks land on my jacket. I'm not really sure why this is fun, but for some reason to thousands of students it is.

And as I stood there, I thought about the intrinsic human longing for community and how having a similar passion for the victory of UCLA and the defeat of USC brings out a community of students. I guess this is where community lies: having a common passion for something. I don't know most of the students here, but for this one moment of time, every face holds some familiarity.

And as I thought about this fire burning and the excitement for the fire to burn, I initially thought about the many pagan rituals which include fire.

And then I thought about when Elijah asked God to light his altar from heaven and how fire from heaven came down on the altar and consumed the water and the altar. And I thought about that verse in Hebrews 12 about how "God is a consuming fire." So then I thought about how cool it would be for this many students to come together to worship God, the true consuming fire. To have this same passion, this same excitement to worship a mighty and powerful God. And this is where true community lies - in worship of a holy and magnificent God.

(By the way, I do in fact love UCLA, even if I'm not quite as enthusiastic about sporting events or campus traditions)

biographies and some other random thoughts

i would like to meet Helen Roseveare, or at least hear her speak in person. she was a medical missionary in the Congo for 20 years, amidst the political turmoil and civil wars.

just listened to her when she spoke at the Desiring God Conference 2007 here:
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByConference/37/2415_A_Call_for_the_Perseverance_of_the_Saints/

and i just finished reading Noel's Piper biography on her in "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God."

i love biographies.

i'm sad that the Resolved Conference falls on the same weekend of graduation. But at least it's 4 days this year - so even if I miss the first two days, I can still catch the last two days.
www.resolved.org.

i bought a chia herb garden and i'm quite excited to watch it grow in my own home.

i really like the warm, soft, fuzzy insides of new sweatshirts.

joy.

i am joyous once again and i'm back to my excited self. yay! praise God! i love being joyful and excited.

thinks I'm thankful for and i'm excited about:

-God's discipline and His Fatherly love for us
-the book of Hebrews
-the gift of joy
-baking
-the smell of fresh-baked cookies
-cooling racks
-going to the Philippines in less than a month
-Thanksgiving food
-a clean house
-ruckus.com
-my mommy
-family
-friends
-answered prayers
-passionate freshman
-biographies
-improving creative writing skills

Melancholy.

I am a melancholic. I must have a preponderance of black bile as thought by medieval psychologists.

So i read a very encouraging chapter in Future Grace by John Piper about fighting Despondency. Here is an excerpt:

How Jesus Fought in the Dark Hour
There were several tactics in strategic battle against despondency. First, he chose some close friends to be with him. "He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee" (Matthew 26:37). Second, he opened his soul to them. He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death" (v.38). Third, he asked for their intercession and partnership in the battle. "Remain here and keep watch with Me" (v.39) Fourth, he poured out his heart to his Father in prayer. "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me." (v.39). Fifth, he rested his soul in the sovereign wisdom of God. "Yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt" (v.39). Sixth, he fixed his eye on the glorious future grace that awaited him on the other side of the cross. "For the joy set before Him [He] endured the cross, despising the shame, and had sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2)

When something drops into your life that seems to threaten your future, remember this, the first shockwaves of the bomb are not sin. The real danger is yielding to them. Giving in. Putting up no spiritual fight. And the root of that surrender is unbelief - a failure to fight for faith in future grace. A failure to cherish all that God promiises to be for us in Jesus.

Jesus shows us another way. Not painless, and not passive. Follow him. Find your trusted spiritual friends. Open your soul to them. Ask them to watch with you and pray. Pour out your soul to the Father. Rest in the sovereign wisdom of God. And fix your eyes on the joy set before you in the precious and magnificent promises of God.


mmm...and the insight of John Piper again points me to treasuring my Savior.

Please pray for me as I fight despondency. Thanks.

I also read Psalm 62:1-2; 5-7 which was very encouarging...o how the law of the Lord revives the soul!

"Truly my soul silently waits for God;
From Him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be greatly moved.

My soul, wait expectantly for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God."

Next to Chaucer, if I could meet a literary figure from the past, I think I would like to meet Milton. He's epic. Gotta love that Paradise Lost.