Processing.

(Some of my fam. From Left to Right: Mom, Tita Elly and Tito Sebio (just came from the Philippines), Tita Choleng, Mildred, Tito Rado, Aldren)

(Warning: Long Journal Entry Part of my Post Project Processing. haha)

It's been pretty busy for me the past few days since arriving. My uncle and aunt just arrived from the Philippines the night I arrived and they're staying with us. So the rest of my family's been over and we've been entertaining them the past few days. If you don't know, my mom is from a family of 9 children, so you can just think of how many people have been in and out of my house the past few days. haha. It's been super fun and I've really enjoyed spending time with my family, and talking to my Tito Sebio, from the Philippines. I'm realizing that alot of my verbal/English/teaching/activist tendencies come from him. He was a college professor and he fought for teacher's rights in the late 60's and early 70's before martial law in the Philippines. He even talked with President Marcos. He has some pretty sweet stories.

Anyways, since all that jazz is happening, it's been harder for me to sit still and just process. And when I do have time to sit still, I get busy with trying to figure out classes and financial aid stuff for Biola, which is a bit stressful for me, since I was supposed to have most of this done before I left for Japan. oops. O well.

So as I was cooking rice today, I started processing through some of the things I learned this past month. Maybe it's because rice makes me think of Japan, I'm not really sure why. Or maybe it was just because I read Easter's blog about her Epic trip to SanFran and it made me think of things. (Thanks Easter :) Although, I'm realizing how God has been breaking down alot of the ways I compartmentalize things and that I don't necessarily have to be in a room by myself for a long period of time to process through things. (Alot of the time, actually, I find that I think of things during the most random times like sitting on the toilet or in the shower. haha. I'm guessing that I gave you way too much info.) I also find that I process through things as I talk to people too. So I don't think I'm a complete internal or external processor, I guess it's a both/and; maybe I just tend to lean on being more internal.

I also realized on this trip that I'm alot more extroverted than I say or think I am. I'm still an introvert, but I definitely love being with people and talking to people and pouring out. Although it's tiring, it's like this joyful kind of tired. Like I'm super happy when I'm with people. And so when I do have quiet times with God it's even more refreshing, even when I only have like a couple of minutes. I think that God broke down alot of the ways I think about what a quiet time or spending time with Him looks like. Often times, I find comfort in routine and having consistent quiet times with God in the morning and at night. For awhile, because I wasn't having this consistency on project, I was feeling really down and beat up on myself alot. One morning Kester prayed for me (Aww, I miss Kester Pard! He's one of our teammates from Indonesia, but studying at Penn State for college), and he prayed that God would break down my whole notion of what a quiet time looks like, that it doesn't necessarily have to be what I want it to be, that even when I just have a few moments with the Lord throughout the day, that those would be just as refreshing as spending hours with Him. He reminded me that we were there to minister to others, and that in that jam-packed super flexible schedule and being with our team all the time, we might not be able to have the same kind of quiet times we have at home with our normal day-to-day schedule. I really felt God's grace and a sense of freedom when he prayed that over me. Not saying that long hours and consistent quiet times are bad, they're really very good, but sometimes we don't have that kind of time, and God is still so gracious. I'm realizing that because of the consistent quiet times in the past, alot of His Word has been hidden in my heart, and that just at the right times, even during a few seconds, He reminded me of the Words that I just needed to hear that very second. His love is free, I don't have to think I'm a "good" Christian, doing all the "right" things to receive His love. Oh my legalistic attitude! May God break it down more and more!



(Photo Caption: Me and Kester, my Southeast Asian brother, haha)

I also realized that through having this notion of a quiet time, that I have been very prideful in the past, thinking I was some "super spiritual" Christian because I spent hours alone with God, and God constantly reminds me how I'm no better than anyone else, that I need His grace just as much as anyone else, that I'm not a "super spiritual" Christian, that it's hard for me to be excited about spiritual things sometimes even when other people are excited about it. Just because I'm going to seminary, doesn't mean I'm at the top of the spiritual ladder or anything. I'm just as broken and just as in process as everyone else.

God gives me just the right amount of energy and grace I need to minister to others, even when I don't think I've spent enough time with Him, and through spending time with others, I experience His love and grace. Many times I thought I was ministering to others, I realize that God was ministering to me in those times.

God is so good. He is so gracious, and I'm fully redeemed solely by His love.

Thanks to Lyndsey, I got the Koenji train station ringtone, and it makes me so happy :)

I was listening to God of the City while journaling all of these thoughts, then I fell asleep and woke up to her calling me with the Koenji ringtone! It made me really happy :)

(Photo Caption: Lyndsey and I modeling our new makeovers during the women's outreach)



P.P.S. Now that Josh and Britt's engagement is facebook official I can now post pictures and say how excited I am that they're engaged! So excited! I cried when I watched it happen! This was definitely the best moment of the whole summer! It was beautiful! I'm so happy for them! Yay! Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Morey to be! :) My Epic Parents are going to be legit now! Yay!


Oh yeah, Here some other pictures that I got from other people that correspond to some of my past posts:

The Toyo Team with the Japanese-Hawaiian Christian teacher, Kent.

Some of my team with Satoshi's group of friends (all in Kent's English class). Satoshi was the one who talked to Kent to let us talk to his class. From left back to right front: (Lilico, Toyo student; Jessica, teammate; Wilson, teammate; Kazwake, Toyo student; Acchan, Toyo student; Nonchan, Toyo student; Yoshko, Toyo student; Jon, teammate; Satoshi, Toyo student)I will never forget what Satoshi said to me at the train station as we were leaving. He said, "Many Japanese have many prejudices against Christianity and religion, but your team has helped break down those prejudices for me. I know that your team was God's gift to me. Thank you for showing me God's love. I will read and study the Bible even when you leave." He hasn't accepted Christ yet, but I know that God is working in his life. He facebook messaged me yesterday and told me how he was reading 1 Thessalonians and really liked the words, "Rejoice always." It made me really happy. Please pray that God would reveal Himself to Satoshi and that through studying God's Word, that He would truly understand the Gospel.

At Home.

It's strange. I'm home. I miss Japan. I miss my team. Hopefully, I'll see some of them tomorrow at Disneyland. :)

At Debriefing.

(Our team in front of the world at Disney Sea)

Wow. I can't believe project is almost over. We go home in two days after debriefing in Kawaguchiko at the foot of Mt. Fuji. It's crazy how fast project's gone by. Vivan, one of the Epic national staff who's helping debrief us, told us that we should prepare a one word answer to give to people when they ask us, so "How was your summer?" If you ask me in person I'll probably respond: FUN. She also said to prepare a one sentence answer. So my answer is: I had the most fun summer of my life.

I feel like I don't sound as spiritual because I haven't said all of the things that God has done this summer in Tokyo, in my team, and in my heart. But how am I supposed to explain to people the tremendous work that He's done and explain my experience in one sentence? It's pretty much impossible. So I'll stick with FUN.

I don't think I've ever laughed as hard and as much as I did this past month and a half. I love my team. God is a God of joy.

By the way, if you haven't checked out my pictures, I posted some of them on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=2525980

I'm actually on album #5, and I still have more to post.

P.S. Mt. Fuji is beautiful. I love the Japanese countryside.

P.P.S. Please pray for me as I transition back to the U.S. It's always harder for me to transition back to America. Please pray that I would stay connected with people from my team and that I would not have a critical and judgemental attitude on America and Los Angeles. Please also pray for me as I process through the summer, that God would help me take back the things I've learned and apply them in my ministry at home. Please also pray for me as I start seminary at the end of August. While I'm super excited about going to Biola and studying the Bible, I still have many fears and questions about the future and going into full-time ministry. I'm also really sad about leaving the UCLA community and Japan project community. Please pray that this would also be a smooth transition.

Thanks again so much for all your prayers!

The Last Lap.

(Photo Caption: From back left: Stef, Lyndsey, Naomi, Mai, Carolin, Grace Shin, and I waiting to go to the top of the Tokyo Tower)

Last Thursday, we spent our last time with two friends, Naomi and Mai, who are from International Christian University. Although this university is Christian by name, they are no longer a Christian university. Yet, both Naomi and Mai have been coming to church with us and are very interested in learning more about Christianity. We went to Tokyo Tower and saw the beautiful skyline of Japan.

The song by Chris Tomlin, "God of the City" came to mind as I looked over the city. Josh put this song on repeat during one of our prayer times, so it was pretty fresh in my mind.

These are the lyrics:

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this City

You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all Kings
You AreYou're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are

Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here.

Please continue to pray for breakthrough in Tokyo. Please pray for Naomi and Mai as God would open up their hearts to the Gospel as they learn more about what it means to have a genuine relationship with God. Please also continue to pray for strength for our team to finish strong and to be united.

I can't believe that it's already the last week of project. It went by way too fast! We are going to Disney Sea tomorrow, having our last couple of days on campus, then heading to Mt. Fuji on Thursday for debriefing. I've had an amazing time in Japan, and as I was reflecting about the trip, I realized that the biggest thing I've learned on project is learning how to be comfortable with who God made me to be and my identity in Him - using my God-given gifts and abilities for His glory and for building up the body; and knowing and admitting my areas of weakness. I've been surprisingly comfortable here around my team, exposing my weird and crazy self, yet they still love me and are still blessed by me. I think, "Wow, this must be God's grace because I feel like I'm so foolish and strange at times, so I know it's not anything I do." I've been thinking about Joshua 1:9 for awhile, and I guess this is what it means to be strong and courageous because God is with me. I don't feel like I have to put on this "super spiritual" front like before, but can act like my normal self. I'm learning that this is what it means to do ministry out of an overflow of love and out of a confidence in my identity in Christ, instead of doing ministry for appearance' sake - like a self-righteous Pharisee, which is what I'm sometimes inclined to do. I've realized that alot of my natural tendency is to be legalistic and have a performanced-based relationship with God, thinking that if I do more for Him, He'll love me more. I think I've experienced alot of His grace through my team, which has definitely deepened my understanding that my relationship with Him is solely by grace, and nothing of my own doing.
I've been so encouraged by my team and their faith and boldness for Christ. It's been so awesome spending these past few weeks with them, I feel like I'm going to have really bad summer project withdrawal when I get home. haha.
Although today, we went to a church that reminded me of my church, and I started really missing home.

Please also continue to pray that God would teach me what true humility, authenticity, and grace is.

Thanks so much!

Fun Times.

I've learned much about contemporary Japanese fashion and culture the past few days.

Here are some pictures to show you what I've learned:




<-- Japanese baseball games are so much better than American baseball games because of all their awesome cheers and enthusiasm.

Fashion is all about dressing up and looking cute -->

It's all about the hair and expression!

Hope you got a kick out of that!

Amazing Day.

(Me, Lauren, Kei, Erin, Anita, and Brittany)

So we had a really good day today! One of the girls, Kei, from Tsuda University went to the Student Impact meeting that we went to today. Lauren, Erin, and I had the chance to share the Gospel with her and she was very open and engaged with us the whole time. She wanted to pray to receive Christ so we went to a quieter room with her and Brittany and we prayed with her. She was so sweet and genuinely wanted to learn more about Christ and the Bible. She is so open to learning more about what it means to follow Christ. It was cool, because at the beginning of the conversation, she said she had no faith or religion, and then throughout the whole time we were sharing the Gospel with her, she was very interested and excited to hear about it, and then she said how she wanted to put Christ at the center of her life and accept Him. She said that it was the first time she had heard the complete Gospel and that after hearing the Gospel, her whole way of thinking changed. She felt very happy after we prayed with her and told her that she can pray to God anytime she wants to pray to Him. So exciting! Praise God! I believe that He is working mightily in her life, and that she made a large step today in wanting to know more about Christ. Please continue to pray for her, that God would continue to reveal Himself to her, and that she would come to a deeper understanding of the Gospel and what it means to truly follow Christ. I praise God that we have a partnership with J.C.C.C and that the staff women can follow up with her. So cool! It's exciting to see God work!

In the Classroom

Today we had the opportunity to join an English conversation class. One of the students that the guys have been meeting up with, Satoshi, asked his English conversation professor if we could come to class. So the teacher lets us go to his class and have discussion groups with the students, and we find out he is a Christian too! He is a Japanese-American from Hawaii and teaches English at Toyo University. It was such a blessing meeting him! He split the class into groups and we got to go around talking to the students. The crazy thing is that we had already met half of the class during our random evangelism times, and we had no idea that they were all in the same class when we had met them. So we saw many familiar faces. At the end of the class, the teacher said in front of the whole class of around 30 students, "I am not only connected to these group of students from America because we are all Asian-America, but we are also all Christians and brothers and sisters in Christ. This group of students came all the way from America to tell you that God loves you and that Jesus Christ died for you." Wow! Now I was amazed that he was saying this in front of the class at a secular university! That's such a bold step! And we were worried that he was putting his job on the line, which is quite possible. But wow, I was so encouraged by that professor! He's so cool! Hopefully, we'll be able to keep in contact with him. I believe that God is truly working in the classroom through that teacher, and that teacher has probably been praying for that class. So exciting to see!

Yeah, we've been having some really awesome stories. Brittany got to see a girl come to know Christ at the 4th of July outreach event. You can read more about it on her blog: http://brittanywong.blogspot.com/

Praise God for what He's doing in Japan!

Please pray for more hearts to be opened in Japan. We are praying a student from each university, Toyo, Todai, Tsuda, and Rikyo to come to know Christ this week. Please continue to pray for strength, boldness, compassion, and love.
Although today was a really good day, I really felt tired and a bit distracted even while talking to students. It was hard for me to focus on the conversation at times, and it takes alot more energy talking to Japanese students, initating with them, and trying to understand them.

We're Free!

John 8:36
"So if the Son makes you free , you will be free indeed."

Happy 4th of July everyone! Yay, we're free!

Today was such a sweet day! Even though I felt really tired this morning, God was gracious in giving me energy to get through the day. But now I'm so excited from the times we've spent with our friends, that I'm energized again. We went to another campus today, Tsuda college, which is an all girls school. We met with Jessica, one of the STINTers, Naomi, one of the JCCC staff, and Anita, one of the JCCC staff from Taiwan on the way to campus. The campus is really nice, it's surrounded by trees, and looks like an East Coast college. It's really peaceful and very different from Toyo University which is very modern-looking. We had an English lunch and talked to two girls. We also met the team from Taiwan, which was cool. Lyndsey and I befriended three girls in the cafeteria and they were very friendly. Hopefully, we will be able to eat ice cream with them next Friday.

By this time, around 5 pm, I was feeling really tired, but we still had the 4th of July outreach that we were hosting. Thankfully, being around all of the students actually energized me, and then two girls from Tsuda came and we were able to talk to them for quite awhile. They were so nice and friendly. We even ate dinner with them at Ootsoya afterwards. Naomi, a JCCC staffer, and her husband, Takano, also came to eat with us. It was really fun talking with them, and I didn't feel tired afterwards. I actually felt more energized because they were excited to hang out with us and also asked us questions, so it wasn't as difficult to keep the converation flowing.



An interesting thing happened to be at the outreach party. They played a short video about Student Impact (It's the name of Japanese Campus Crusade for Christ in Japan), and all the different ministries of Student Impact, and I started crying, seeing how the Lord is working in Japan through Student Impact. It's so amazing!

I think one of the things that touched me the most was meeting one of the students that came to Christ this year through the Gospel Choir. It's cool because I read about her in Laura's STINT prayer update letters, and it was so cool meeting her in person. The world has become such a smaller place. Yesterday, I also met some Toyo students who went to UCLA for the homestay program, so I've seen them before when they came, and they know many mutual friends. It's a small world after all.

Day 5

I've been really enjoying these past few days. It's been great being on campus at Toyo University and meeting students. There are only 4 Christians on a university of 30,000. Although this sounds like such a daunting task, it's been very encouraging meeting the Christian students on campus like Daichi and Yuki. They are so excited that we are here and they have such a heart for their campus. It's so encouraging seeing their love for God despite their small numbers. It must be so hard to be one of the few Christians in a place of hard soil. I've also been blessed by the partnership we have with Japanese Campus Crusade for Christ. Today Erin and I went out meeting students with one of the JCCC staff, Fumi, and it was cool seeing how we could tag team it, as students wanted to talk to us since we're foreigners, but then she could go deeper into spiritual things. She was able to share the Gospel to one of the girls we met, and it was so uplifting to see the Gospel shared in a different language. Even though we speak different languages, the Gospel is the same.

(Photo Caption: Erin, Fumi, and I, and yes, I am wearing suspenders with culottes. I figured I could totally get away with wearing this in Japan, since their style is so different, haha, and if it's not fashionable here, I could always use the excuse that I'm a foreigner.)

We also met this other guy named Satoshi who is really excited that we're here and he's introduced us to alot of his friends. A highlight for me was finding out that he listened to Rilo Kiley. If you don't know Rilo Kiley, they're an indie band from Echo Park, so it was just really surprising that a Japanese student knew who they are, since they're not super popular in America. I've seen them live twice, and although I haven't listened to their music for awhile, I still think Jenny Lewis has a beautiful voice and was excited to hear that he knew who they were.

<--Team Dinner at Big Momma's. I also have really enjoyed being with my team and learning about the culture in Japan. It's only Day 5, and I already feel really comfortable with my team. (I mean, really comfortable. I've already revealed my crazy emo/hardcore/headbanging days with them, and I've worn suspenders with culottes, who does that? I've definitely exposed my weird/crazy side that usually takes awhile to come out). It's really interesting seeing how comfortable I am with my team. Even though I know it's really different, I feel like I compare my experience in East Asia to my experience here often. It took me awhile to feel really comfortable in East Asia, and I'm not sure if I even felt this comfortable with everybody on my team. I know that alot of it is due to the different natures of the projects, like how here our whole team can actually be together alot, and in East Asia, we couldn't really be together as a team as much for security purposes. Another reason why I probably feel more comfortable this time around is because I knew some of the people coming into the project, like Brittany, Josh, and Kris. I didn't think that ethnicity really mattered to me that much, but it really does affect me, and I think because this is an Epic project with all Asian-Americans, I've felt like I can connect with people better. I actually feel more outgoing and outspoken, which is quite strange, since people usually think I'm quiet and reserved.

On that note, it's been a good thing having alot of people time, but at the same time, I feel like I haven't been spending as much quality time with God. Please pray that I would really take the time to spend time with God and really get my fuel and feeding from Him, because without relying on Him, I know I will burn out really fast. Thanks for all your prayers. I love you all! (Me in my Yukata, modeling a map of Japan)