Processing.

(Some of my fam. From Left to Right: Mom, Tita Elly and Tito Sebio (just came from the Philippines), Tita Choleng, Mildred, Tito Rado, Aldren)

(Warning: Long Journal Entry Part of my Post Project Processing. haha)

It's been pretty busy for me the past few days since arriving. My uncle and aunt just arrived from the Philippines the night I arrived and they're staying with us. So the rest of my family's been over and we've been entertaining them the past few days. If you don't know, my mom is from a family of 9 children, so you can just think of how many people have been in and out of my house the past few days. haha. It's been super fun and I've really enjoyed spending time with my family, and talking to my Tito Sebio, from the Philippines. I'm realizing that alot of my verbal/English/teaching/activist tendencies come from him. He was a college professor and he fought for teacher's rights in the late 60's and early 70's before martial law in the Philippines. He even talked with President Marcos. He has some pretty sweet stories.

Anyways, since all that jazz is happening, it's been harder for me to sit still and just process. And when I do have time to sit still, I get busy with trying to figure out classes and financial aid stuff for Biola, which is a bit stressful for me, since I was supposed to have most of this done before I left for Japan. oops. O well.

So as I was cooking rice today, I started processing through some of the things I learned this past month. Maybe it's because rice makes me think of Japan, I'm not really sure why. Or maybe it was just because I read Easter's blog about her Epic trip to SanFran and it made me think of things. (Thanks Easter :) Although, I'm realizing how God has been breaking down alot of the ways I compartmentalize things and that I don't necessarily have to be in a room by myself for a long period of time to process through things. (Alot of the time, actually, I find that I think of things during the most random times like sitting on the toilet or in the shower. haha. I'm guessing that I gave you way too much info.) I also find that I process through things as I talk to people too. So I don't think I'm a complete internal or external processor, I guess it's a both/and; maybe I just tend to lean on being more internal.

I also realized on this trip that I'm alot more extroverted than I say or think I am. I'm still an introvert, but I definitely love being with people and talking to people and pouring out. Although it's tiring, it's like this joyful kind of tired. Like I'm super happy when I'm with people. And so when I do have quiet times with God it's even more refreshing, even when I only have like a couple of minutes. I think that God broke down alot of the ways I think about what a quiet time or spending time with Him looks like. Often times, I find comfort in routine and having consistent quiet times with God in the morning and at night. For awhile, because I wasn't having this consistency on project, I was feeling really down and beat up on myself alot. One morning Kester prayed for me (Aww, I miss Kester Pard! He's one of our teammates from Indonesia, but studying at Penn State for college), and he prayed that God would break down my whole notion of what a quiet time looks like, that it doesn't necessarily have to be what I want it to be, that even when I just have a few moments with the Lord throughout the day, that those would be just as refreshing as spending hours with Him. He reminded me that we were there to minister to others, and that in that jam-packed super flexible schedule and being with our team all the time, we might not be able to have the same kind of quiet times we have at home with our normal day-to-day schedule. I really felt God's grace and a sense of freedom when he prayed that over me. Not saying that long hours and consistent quiet times are bad, they're really very good, but sometimes we don't have that kind of time, and God is still so gracious. I'm realizing that because of the consistent quiet times in the past, alot of His Word has been hidden in my heart, and that just at the right times, even during a few seconds, He reminded me of the Words that I just needed to hear that very second. His love is free, I don't have to think I'm a "good" Christian, doing all the "right" things to receive His love. Oh my legalistic attitude! May God break it down more and more!



(Photo Caption: Me and Kester, my Southeast Asian brother, haha)

I also realized that through having this notion of a quiet time, that I have been very prideful in the past, thinking I was some "super spiritual" Christian because I spent hours alone with God, and God constantly reminds me how I'm no better than anyone else, that I need His grace just as much as anyone else, that I'm not a "super spiritual" Christian, that it's hard for me to be excited about spiritual things sometimes even when other people are excited about it. Just because I'm going to seminary, doesn't mean I'm at the top of the spiritual ladder or anything. I'm just as broken and just as in process as everyone else.

God gives me just the right amount of energy and grace I need to minister to others, even when I don't think I've spent enough time with Him, and through spending time with others, I experience His love and grace. Many times I thought I was ministering to others, I realize that God was ministering to me in those times.

God is so good. He is so gracious, and I'm fully redeemed solely by His love.

Thanks to Lyndsey, I got the Koenji train station ringtone, and it makes me so happy :)

I was listening to God of the City while journaling all of these thoughts, then I fell asleep and woke up to her calling me with the Koenji ringtone! It made me really happy :)

(Photo Caption: Lyndsey and I modeling our new makeovers during the women's outreach)



P.P.S. Now that Josh and Britt's engagement is facebook official I can now post pictures and say how excited I am that they're engaged! So excited! I cried when I watched it happen! This was definitely the best moment of the whole summer! It was beautiful! I'm so happy for them! Yay! Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Morey to be! :) My Epic Parents are going to be legit now! Yay!


Oh yeah, Here some other pictures that I got from other people that correspond to some of my past posts:

The Toyo Team with the Japanese-Hawaiian Christian teacher, Kent.

Some of my team with Satoshi's group of friends (all in Kent's English class). Satoshi was the one who talked to Kent to let us talk to his class. From left back to right front: (Lilico, Toyo student; Jessica, teammate; Wilson, teammate; Kazwake, Toyo student; Acchan, Toyo student; Nonchan, Toyo student; Yoshko, Toyo student; Jon, teammate; Satoshi, Toyo student)I will never forget what Satoshi said to me at the train station as we were leaving. He said, "Many Japanese have many prejudices against Christianity and religion, but your team has helped break down those prejudices for me. I know that your team was God's gift to me. Thank you for showing me God's love. I will read and study the Bible even when you leave." He hasn't accepted Christ yet, but I know that God is working in his life. He facebook messaged me yesterday and told me how he was reading 1 Thessalonians and really liked the words, "Rejoice always." It made me really happy. Please pray that God would reveal Himself to Satoshi and that through studying God's Word, that He would truly understand the Gospel.