I don't know what I was thinking when I enrolled to take Greek and Hebrew at the same time. I'm now suffering the consequences of my youthful ambition. haha. I am crazy.
This past semester has been hard. Not only academically, but ministry-wise, life in general has been hard.
I was talking to my friend Stephen today, explaining to him how I was writing a research paper on Habakkuk because I feel like Habakkuk is quite relevant to my life right now. We were talking about Habakkuk and Job are different because where Job experienced very personal suffering in his own life and family, Habakkuk cried out to God because of the injustice that he saw around him. Just as Habakkuk cried out to God asking why there was all this evil and suffering around him, these past few weeks I've been crying out to God asking Him why all these hard things are happening around me - not necessarily even to me, but to people around me.
In Habakkuk's case, there was all this evil happening around him in Israel, and then God responds saying that He's raising up a nation, the Chaldeans, to carry out punishment, taking over Israel. Habakkuk doesn't understand why God is using a nation that is even more evil to carry out justice. God responds, saying He'll bring about justice to the Chaldeans also in His own time - and that "the righteous shall live by his faith" (2:4). So at the end of Habakkuk, there is a beautiful prayer showing Habakkuk's trust in God's justice even if he doesn't necessarily understand what's going on around him.
And it ends in some of my favorite verses of the Bible...
"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places."
Habakkuk 3:17-19
I'm learning how to rejoice in the Lord even when I don't understand what's happening around me. I'm learning how to mourn with those who mourn, and weep with those who weep - to enter in someone else's pain, to sit with them. It's hard.
On a lighter note, we had a bridal party weekend for Ate Bonnie this past weekend and it was so much fun. It was good times hanging out with Ate Bonnie and the bridesmaids - being girlie with them - doing hair, make-up, watching chick flicks (filipino dramas), taking pictures. I have to admit, that I actually enjoyed it. This is quite an improvement from thinking these "girlie" things were a waste of time like I used to. It used to be painful for me, but now I'm slowly starting to enjoy it. hahaha. I guess I'm finally growing up or "blossoming" as they like to say - maybe just 5 years too late. It's funny when the high school girls at church compliment me for wearing eye-liner and give me make-up tips. It's really strange how one piece of make-up can do so much. It's quite a humbling experience learning all these things actually, makes me see how it actually takes skill and practice. hahaha. I'm finally embracing "being a girl." And it's O.K. since I am a girl. haha.
