(Photo courtesy of julosstock from sxc.hu)
Then I wouldn't have to feel
The loss, the hurt, the pain.
The guilt, the sadness, the shame.
I wouldn't have to look
At the dark places from where they came.
I wouldn't have to spend time and energy
To tend to the broken parts of me.
I could just go, work, and do.
Efficiency 100% times 2.
Logic rules-
Feelings subdued.
Just keep moving,
Just keep busy.
Just keep doing.
I wouldn't have to try to hide -
The feeling of deadness inside.
But then I wouldn't feel
The comfort, the care, the unconditional love
Of the Father's hands who hold me.
Of my Savior, of the descending Dove.
I wouldn't feel the joy of His presence
His delight, His favor, His grace,
His compassion, His mercy, His strength
To endure and run this race.
So I sit, I cry, I scream, I yell-
Because this is the closest I'll ever get to the depths of hell,
And You are still there.
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