Rediscovering the Joy of Reading, especially Jane Austen

"Because they neither flattered herself nor her children, she could not believe them good-natured; and because they were fond of reading, she fancied them satirical: perhaps without exactly knowing what it was to be satirical; but that did not signify."
~Sense and Sensibility, Vol. 2, Chapter XIV, pg. 201.

This satirical self-consciousness is one of the reasons why I have had such an enjoyable time reading Sense and Sensibility. Although I had read Pride and Prejudice in high school, I don't think I understood Austen's wit and satire, which now makes me laugh out loud, making my family give me strange stares. I think I'm also drawn to her protagonists, who I, along with so many others, feel like we can relate to.

It now makes sense why so many people love her. I think Jane Austen brings the world together. haha.

I also like how Austen upholds virtue, while making a mockery of pride, foolishness, emotionalism, and impropriety.
It's quite refreshing reading well-written satirical fiction. And she "keeps it real" without having to indulge in crude sensuality. It's all good, clean fun.

An article on Crosswalk talks about how Austen's sense of right and wrong which stemmed from her faith is what draws many people in.
http://www.crosswalk.com/books/11552212/
The fact that people are drawn to her writing, I believe, shows how people innately have a higher sense of morality, attributing to a higher moral order.

After not having read a work of fiction for a semester since I graduated, and after not having read a work of fiction for fun since I don't even remember, it's quite exciting being able to enjoy fiction again and being able to choose what I want to read, instead of forcing myself to analyze a piece of literature for a class.

Oh, Reading! How I've missed you! It's like seeing a long-lost friend again. :)

(These last two posts have shown the extent of my English-major nerdiness...haha)

Compound Gerunds...How Many Can I Use in One Entry?

i am such an english nerd. haha.

GERUND PHRASE
Gerunds, verbals that end in -ing and that act as nouns, frequently are associated with modifiers and complements in a gerund phrase. These phrases function as units and can do anything that a noun can do. Notice that other phrases, especially prepositional phrases, are frequently part of the gerund phrase.
Cramming for tests is not a good study strategy. [gerund phrase as subject]
John enjoyed swimming in the lake after dark. [gerund phrase as object]
I'm really not interested in studying biochemistry for the rest of my life. [gerund phrase as object of the preposition in ]

(http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/phrases.htm#participle)

How do I describe my first semester at seminary? It's definitely been:

life-challenging
mind-stretching
heart-wrenching
soul-searching
God-wrestling
love-filling
Spirit-experiencing
ministry-giving
grace-receiving
community-building
direction-changing
fear-facing
music-making
spontaneous-singing
joy-fulfilling
vision-adjusting
Truth-learning
Gospel-centering
season-grieving
present-embracing
future-surrendering
motivation-processing.
Christ-praising.

The more I learn about God, the more I realize how much I don't understand, and how His grace is truly sufficient in my weakness.

O Heart Bereaved and Lonely

So I discovered another group of musicians who put old, unfamiliar hymns to modern music called Indelible Grace Music from one of my friend's facebooks.
I downloaded their latest album, "Wake Thy Slumbering Children."
It's such a good album! Amazing lyrics and sweet music. I'm a big fan.
I like all of the songs, and it's hard for me to decide which is my favorite right now, but here is one of the songs I thought had beautiful lyrics.

It's a hymn written by Fanny Crosby called "O Heart Bereaved and Lonely." Fanny Crosby is one of the greatest hymn writers. She wrote familiar hymns such as "Blessed Assurance," "To God Be the Glory," and "Jesus Is Tenderly Calling You Home."

"Fanny Cros­by was prob­ab­ly the most pro­lif­ic hymn­ist in his­to­ry. Though blind­ed by an in­com­pe­tent doc­tor at six weeks of age, she wrote over 8,000 hymns. About her blind­ness, she said:

It seemed in­tend­ed by the bless­ed prov­i­dence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dis­pen­sa­tion. If per­fect earth­ly sight were of­fered me to­mor­row I would not ac­cept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been dis­tract­ed by the beau­ti­ful and in­ter­est­ing things about me.

In her life­time, Fan­ny Cros­by was one of the best known wo­men in the Unit­ed States. To this day, the vast ma­jor­i­ty of Amer­i­can hymn­als con­tain her work."

(http://www.cyberhymnal.org/bio/c/r/o/crosby_fj.htm)

Wow! What an inspiration! This lady is one of my heroes. :)

O Heart Bereaved And Lonely

1. O heart bereaved and lonely,
Whose brightest dreams have fled
Whose hopes like summer roses,
Are withered crushed and dead
Though link by link be broken,
And tears unseen may fall
Look up amid thy sorrow,
To Him who knows it all

2. O cling to thy Redeemer,
Thy Savior, Brother, Friend
Believe and trust His promise,
To keep you till the end
O watch and wait with patience,
And question all you will
His arms of love and mercy,
Are round about thee still

3. Look up, the clouds are breaking,
The storm will soon be o'er
And thou shall reach the haven,
Where sorrows are no more
Look up, be not discouraged;
Trust on, whate'er befall
Remember, O remember,
Thy Savior knows it all

His Eye Is On the Sparrow

I love this hymn.

Why should I feel discouraged,
why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely,
and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled,"
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth,
but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,
whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

After praying and processing in the car this past weekend - seeing the depth of the ways I try to take control, instead of surrendering my life to God - I started singing this song.

I Like It When Kids Cry

By the title, you might think I'm some kind of mean person. Let me explain myself...

Whenever I try to leave my pastor's house, his 2 year old daughter grabs my hand and makes me sit down. She says, "Stay." After watching a few minutes of her cartoons of unknown animals or hand puppets, I try to get up without her noticing. Her eyes are glued to the T.V., but out of the corner of her eye, she sees me inching towards the door, grabs my hand again, and says, "Stay." I tell her, "Micah, I have to go now. Sorry. I'll see you later. Bye." She starts crying and her mommy says to give me a hug and a kiss, and says "Bye, Tita Grace."

I feel loved when she tries to get me to stay, and then starts crying when I leave. I feel loved because she wants me to stay with her and is sad that I'm leaving. She just wants my presence. I feel loved when she calls me "Tita Grace," and knows my name. - That's why I like it when kids cry.

Oh, I love the simplicity of children and the joy they bring.

Missions Fundraising Concert

My church, Congregational Christian Church, is hosting a Missions Fundraising Concert. Please invite all your friends to come!

On November 2nd, The 10 member singing group "MAJESTY" from The Masters College (http://www.masters.edu/) are coming to minister in song and help our fundraising efforts. We have tickets but all are welcome to come. It will be held at the First Church of the Nazarene, 3700 East Sierra Madre Blvd, Pasadena, CA 91107. The doors will be open at 5:30 pm.Your $20 or my $10 may not go far, but if we pool our petty cash together, we can make a significant difference to a church, a body of believers. The picture on the left is of a church plant in the Philippines still unfinished after two years because of lack of funds.
We are realizing that the best way to impact our world is through church planting. Hence, we are raising funds for our church planting projects:
SHORT TERM: Help build or complete a church building for one or more of our church planters.
LONG TERM: Support a local church planter full time so they can focus on equipping the people and reaching out to the lost. We desire to support local church planters from different nations such as Russia, China, Africa, South America, etc. You can go to www.firstgiving.com/cccmissions to donate toward kingdom building. If you would like to help, please contact Pastor Bryan, sidlakxii@yahoo.com, (213) 383-4321.

The Start of Seminary.

I love how God always breaks down all my preconceived notions, fears, and anxieties - which always shows His faithfulness despite my lack of trust in Him.

Preconceived Notion: Most of my classmates at Talbot would be middle-aged Caucasian men already very experienced in ministry.
Reality: I've met a very diverse group of people: young, older, men, women, varying ethnicities, varying ministries, varying occupations, from the entertainment biz to elementary school teachers.

Preconceived Notion: Seminary would answer many of my theological questions.
Reality: Theology class is probably the most confusing class I have, which raises more questions.

Fear: I would be lonely in grad school.
Reality: I know at least one person in each of my classes, either previously friends with them, or became friends with them this past week. I also see Erin all the time. Yay!

Fear: I would not have good community after leaving UCLA.
Reality: God's provided sweet community for me through my church and through my teammates from Japan, and I still keep in touch with my UCLA community.

Fear: Driving would be a horrendous experience, and I would get into many accidents.
Reality: It's really not so bad, and I've discovered that I love singing in the car, because I can sing as loud as I want and not worry if I sound good. haha.

Fear: I don't know how I'll make money during my time in grad school.
Reality: Job openings at church. Getting paid for doing things I already love doing.

Oh, how my finite mind looks only at the physical, and not at the spiritual. I feel like one of Jesus' disciples many times as they worried about how Jesus was going to feed the multitudes of people even though they already saw Him feed 5,000 people before.

We just studied Mark 8 last Thursday during C.A.R.E. group, so this is fresh in my mind. One of the questions was "When have you acted similarly, not expecting God to work just after he has met a need in your life?"
As all these fears arise as I start seminary, I realize I lack trust in God, even though I've seen Him guide me and get me to this point.

I hear Jesus saying, "Oh, you of little faith! Just trust in me."

I am a worrier.

Lord, increase my faith.