Some highlights from the past couple of weeks:
April 27 - Talbot Spring Banquet. 'Twas such a fun night. I love our team. They all did such a great job. I'm so thankful for all the gifts and talents that each one brings, and seeing everyone work together. Although there was alot to be done, I truly felt a freedom that I'd never felt before - a sense of being comfortable in my own skin in this community, even in front of a room of 150 people. I really enjoyed singing and playing the violin with Michael and Crystal, and leading others in worship. It was such a privilege, and even though I was initially nervous, during the actual time, I felt the Lord's presence in that room. It was such a sweet moment being able to worship together with the Talbot community.
It has been such a great blessing and encouragement to have the opportunity to live life with them this past year. They are truly a family to me. I will greatly miss this team next year.
Last weekend right after Spring Banquet, I went on a 48-hour retreat in Santa Barbara. So refreshing. Reveled in nature, and in the love of God. My retreat partner, Kat, planned a retreat for me that consisted of reveling in the banquet that the Lord has for me, and being cared for by Him. The retreat center was up in the mountains, overlooking the ocean. So lovely. 
This past weekend, I just went to the Asian Pacific Islander Women's Leadership Conference with Dr. Sheryl Silzer and Noelle. Dr. Silzer co-teaches the Asian Church in American Society class with Professor Ben Shin at Talbot which I'm currently auditing. It is such a great class! She wrote a book called, Biblical Multicultural Teams and she does workshops all over the world for missions teams on cross-cultural communication. I loved having the opportunity to spend time with her and Noelle and hearing her life story.
I also met alot of other really amazing API women. I feel encouraged and affirmed in where God has me now and in the path that He is drawing me to in taking spiritual formation to the Asian-American community, more specifically, to the Filipino-American community. It is so good to connect with other women who love the Lord and are leaders in their respective communities, and to see some familiar faces, like seeing and hearing Vivian Mabuni. It's exciting to meet others who are interested in these issues of faith, culture, and gender - how they all relate to each other and intersect. I loved being able to talk to other Fil-Am women about the ways our culture affects our spirituality as a community, and how we can find freedom from the strongholds that keep us tied down to the lies of the enemy, from believing that we are God's beloved children. One of these ladies - Ella deCastro Baron, a Fil-Am author and poet, of Itchy Brown Girl Seeks Employment shared some of her poetry with us, and I had a chance to talk to her about where some of the roots of those strongholds come from. Since the Filipino people have been dominated by so many others in their history, there is a lack of a sense of having our own identity, and there are feelings of being subjugated and inferior that permeate the culture. There are deep roots of a sense of being orphans and fatherless, which can keep us from embracing who we are as children of God, and feeling the nearness of God as our Father.
I got prayed over on Saturday by a woman I had never met before, and she spoke words of freedom over me that were so powerful. I didn't even say anything about myself or what what I needed prayer for. We just sat in silence and then she saw a picture of me sitting in a field of flowers, just enjoying them with Jesus, and then gave me Luke 2:27-31:
27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.31 Instead, seek his[e] kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
I envision this field that I sat in during my retreat. It was such a gift and nourishing to my soul:
It's exactly what I needed to hear, especially after feeling anxiety about my future and also seeing some old burdens that I still carry. I know the Lord is inviting me to revel with Him in that field of flowers. He is leading me on to this journey of freedom, and reminds me that it is a process, and that there are these places of rest along the journey.
I love how the Lord works - how He speaks through people, and knows exactly what I need.
Thank You, Lord for Your mercy and love.
This journey to freedom hasn't been easy - it has been painful and difficult at times. Even right now as I write a paper for ISF, I find myself writing and crying as I face the brokeness in my life and history. (A reason I'm writing this blog post is one of the ways I'm taking a break from the heaviness of writing that paper...a.k.a. perhaps, a method of procrastination.) After this conference, I'm realizing that this is much bigger than myself - that this invitation to freedom is not just for me, but for my whole community. Come, Lord Jesus, Come. Set us free.
