A Day on my Front Lawn.

Once again, it's time for musings from my front lawn. It really is quite delightful just sitting outside on my front lawn, soaking in the sun, feeling the gentle breeze.

After having a crazy panic attack last Saturday, I spent some time Son-bathing today. I feel much better now, thanks to friends, community, solitude, rest, prayer, nature, worship music, and God's Word.

You bid me come and partake -
'Drink deeply from the divine waters
Of the crystal lake, so pure and clear
Is the water here.'
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."
You tell me to take a cup and feel the waters
Of repentance - refreshing, reviving to my soul.
I am filled. I am free
To thirst for more of You.

It was a clear, blue sky. I sat in front of my house, listening to the few cars that drove by. The breeze flowing through the leaves of the trees made a sweet rustling sound. An ant scurrying across the light, green hose, escaped the flooded grass. My toes dug into the prickly, green grass - the grass which makes my skin itch as I flicked the ants off my blanket. The trees lined up to make an entry way to the wilderness of the mountains. This land used to be ancient Indian burial grounds. Am I lying on a chief's grave? I wondered what wars happened in these mountains, long ago, before Los Angeles was a Metropolis, before it was necessary for the suburbian birth.

A painting of a man with white hair (a wig?) and a solemn face with penetrating eyes stares at me from the cover of a paperback. But this is no cheap romance novel. "Religious Affections" by Jonathan Edwards. The picture - Jonathan Edwards, I presume. How very nice to meet you, Mr. Edwards. I've heard so much about you through the decades. Heat and light. Knowledge and affections. Oh, how I want my heart to beat, to long, to desire, to cherish the Greatest Good: God, who is the Ultimate Good. May my life be devoted to this God-ward romance, to this God-ward pursuit.

Feasting on Books. Desirataurus the Dinosaur eats the Leaves in the Library.

Now that I'm finished with summer Greek, I actually have time to read for enjoyment. Yay. I feel like I have book ADD because it's hard for me to just sit down and read one book...After a few chapters, I keep on changing books. haha. I've started so many books that I really need to finish. I'm writing this blog post so I can keep track of what books I need to finish...haha.

Currently on my books that I need to finish list and am actually reading right now. an eclectic variety:
- "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands" by Paul David Tripp
- "Right Thinking in a World Gone Wrong" by John MacArthur and GCC leaders
- The Anne of Green Gables series - at least the first 3 books, because I have the 1st 3 books in 1 Volume.
- "Blood Red Sunset" by Ma Bo

My goal is to finish at least these books before the Fall Semester starts.

If I have extra time, I need to finish reading these books which I've previously started (some, many years back, so I might just have to start from the beginning):
- "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer
- "The Brothers Karamazov" by Fyodor Dostoevsky
- "It Is Not Death to Die: A Biography on Hudson Taylor" by Jim Cromarty
- "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn
- "Confessions" by Augustine
- "Callings - Twenty Centuries of Christian Wisdom on Vocation"
- "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini
- "Catch 22" by Joseph Heller
- "Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan
- "The Souls of Black Folk" by W.E. B. Du Bois

Books which I own which I would like to begin, but probably shouldn't start, until I finish the ones listed above:
- "Religious Affections" by Jonathan Edwards
- "Spectacular Sins" by John Piper
- "The Vanishing Conscience" by John MacArthur
- "Miracles" by C.S. Lewis
- "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas
- "Cities- Missions' New Frontier" by Roger S. Greenway and Timothy M. Monsma
- "Marcos Legacy Revisted: Raiders of the Lost Gold" by Erick San Juan
- "Teacher Power" by my uncle, Eusebio San Diego
- "Hurt- Inside the World of Today's Teenagers" by Chap Clark
- "All the Tea in China" by Jane Orcut

This is a quite extensive list....and there are so many more that I would like to put on this list but I'll just stop now...

I told my brother that I need to finish all these books before I can buy anymore new free reading books...that'll be hard...haha.

(The title of this post refers to a youth retreat mnemonic.)

whoooo! now it's time to play!

Yay! I survived Suicide Greek! So exciting! God is so gracious!

After Mel and I finished watching the BBC version of "Pride and Prejudice," all the intensity of studying for Greek finally hit me yesterday afternoon. My body is definitely beat. I was joking with Kuya Bryan the other week that I feel like I've aged 10 years over this 1 year of seminary, and he said that my body has probably aged 10 years since last year with the intensity of this past year. ack.
I knew it was bad when my face started twitching a few nights before the final. haha.
I probably should also take better care of my body...(but eating Kogi tacos the night before my final with my brother, Mae, and Marie was so worth it! especially since the Kogi truck was in my hometown, and nothing ever happens in my hometown! haha...mmm so good!)
So I survived, but not without a few casualties...
I think this is God's way of humbling me.

So the Wednesday before our Greek final, Mel, Andy, and I were comparing our 1 John tranlsations and when I read 1 John 3:1 - it suddenly just hit me:

"Behold, what sort of love the Father has given to us, that we might be called children of God, and so we are!" (New Grace Version...as Yen likes to call it...haha)

It made me so happy to be reminded that I am God's child...not just called His child, but I am His child! Yay! So many times, I get caught up in the craziness and stress of studying, I tend to forget who I am in Christ. I tend to think that my identity lies in the grades I get and in the ministry I do instead of in Christ. I love these moments when I feel like God gives me a hug and says, "It's o.k., Calm down, my child. You are my child. I am your Abba." Thanks God, for reminding me of who I am in You despite my tendency to forget. The doctrine of adoption is something I love because I am naturally a legalist. Yay! This truth that I am God's child makes me want to dance or even frolick in a field of flowers and sing at the top of my lungs!

And in these times, I am reminded why I am studying Greek. This is why I love studying - I experience God's love and grace in such sweet and powerful ways.

Thanks for your prayers :)

It's Greek to Me.

Finished my first year of seminary.

Lasted through Vacation Bible School. Lots of kids. Crazy. Hectic. Fun. Church body working together.

Survived 2 weeks of suicide Greek. Just 5 more to go. This is gonna be a long summer. Our study group is amazing. Fun times partying it up in the library. hah.

And I've had some time to play. Yay.

God is gracious.

Jesus loves me.

<3.

I know this is where He wants me to be.

Thanks for your prayers.

Letting the Red In.

So I finally bought a Biola sweatshirt, since it was on sale for 35% off. Although I will always be a true Bruin at heart and will always proudly wear my blue and gold, I did buy a red Biola sweatshirt. I figured I'm going to spend the next 3 years there, the same amount I spent at UCLA, so I might as well buy a sweatshirt. I was thinking about buying a Talbot sweatshirt, but I didn't really like the design as much, so I ended up just getting a normal Biola university sweatshirt. I feel very undergradish wearing it, and I probably look very much like an undergrad wearing it. Well, I am supposed to still be an undergrad at the very young age of 22.

I'm 22 and a seminary student. Weird.

Surrender - A difficult yet freeing experience. Still trying to figure out how to do it.

Although seminary's alot of work and studying, which can get stressful at times (especially when I have 40 pages of written work due in one week), I truly do enjoy it at the core of my being. I love delving into God's Word as it challenges my heart and my mind.

At one point in time this past semester, I was so excited about studying God's Word that it made me want to dance. (I think I might've been doing homework in the Psalms for hermeneutics.) So I put on some Israel Houghton, shut the door of my room, and just danced for joy. Danced like David danced. Undignified.

I told my fellow PT 709ers about this experience, and one guy, Ben, said he got a picture of me being like those little kids who have the toy of trying to put the correct shape in the right hole, and that for a while, I was trying different holes, but now I finally put the shape in the right hole, and it's brought me great joy, just as that kid who puts the shape in the right hole gets really happy.

I agree - Discovering more about how God has made me and how I can use the way He has gifted me for His glory.

And that PT 709 class is amazing. I love the transparency and prayer that goes on in there. Those people are so cool.

Community: another reason why seminary's such a sweet experience. Learning from people and being with people who are passionate for God and His Word. Good times.

Prayer request: I'm going to take a year's worth of Greek in the span of six weeks this summer. (They call it suicide Greek for a reason. ahhhh) haha. And the first week of summer school is VBS at my church which I'm heading up....so....yeah, I need lots of prayer :) Thanks.

Tidbits.

So I was reading some articles today, and found some interesting quotes...

"Sacrificial service in the church doesn't start with serving. It starts with being served by God. Then as we are satisfied in Him and who He's revealed Himself to be in His crucified Son, we gladly overflow in service of others. "
~David Mathis, "Served by God, Serving Man"

"I'm finally beginning to realize that I cannot show others the truth about God until I tell myself the truth about His unconditional love.
Can I urge you to do something? Ask Him to tell you about it. Make it your job to hear about it, to immerse yourself in it, to pursue a deeper knowledge of it. Ask others how they know they are unconditionally loved by God. Study the Bible on this subject. Draw pictures, sing songs, tell stories, tell others — whatever it takes to cement this truth in your heart."

"I can't always explain why I do or don't fall in love with someone; how can I expect this of someone else? The good news is that regardless of its romantic potential, each relationship is an excuse for prayer. If it results in faith for someone's purity, well-being, and godliness, even a five-second crush can be a way to expand the Kingdom of God."
~Elisabeth Adams, "One Single Day"

Update on My Life.

(Photo caption: With some Epic Japan project people after the Chris Tomlin concert)

So I've decided to do an update on my life:

-I love it at Talbot. The people there are amazing! From students to faculty, I have felt welcomed and encouraged by their authenticity and open hearts. It's starting to feel like my second home now. (And it probably will be for the like next 5 years...haha.) God is faithful in answering my prayer about community. I love my classes and studying God's Word. My mind and heart have been challenged in so many different ways. It truly is a privilege to study there.

On that note, I'm in the process of changing my program - probably to an M.A. in Biblical Exposition. I realized this program fits me well, since I love learning languages and analyzing texts. Here is where my English major nerdiness fits. haha. I also have been more convicted about the great power there is in God's Word and my very limited understanding of it. It's interesting because I feel like the more I learn in seminary, the more I realize how little I know.

On another side note, meeting up with Erin at Biola every week has been such a blessing to me. It makes me see how God is so gracious in allowing me to see her grow in Him, and how awesome it is that He orchestrated this whole thing.

-I'm enjoying serving at my church, and God continues to give me the grace and joy in ministry. He has provided a super encouraging team of awesome people who serve alongside with me. I also learn alot about through watching children's joy, trust, faith, and simplicity. Teaching high school students has also been a humbling experience as I continue to recognize my own inadequacies and God's grace in supplying all my needs.

Conducting choir has been alot of fun too, and it's just amazing listening to lovely voices worship God. I also started taking voice lessons, which has been quite enlightening, since my voice teacher told me I was a soprano, after singing alto all my life. haha. Who knew? But now that I'm learning how to sing properly, I actually enjoy singing soprano more. :)

-I still don't really know what I'm doing after graduate school, but I'm learning how to be o.k. with this fact. I realized this week that I'm really young - a mere 21, on the verge of 22, and if God wills it, I have my whole life ahead of me. So for now, I'll enjoy the present, and trust God to guide me each step of the way. (It has actually been a difficult process for me to get to this point, as I have the tendency to plan my whole life out and want to take control.)

-Even in the midst of studies and ministry, I have had fun times this past week...going to Disneyland twice, seeing Chris Tomlin live, and running into some Epic Japan project people. God is so good! Again, He reminds me of the great community that He's given me and how privileged I am to have sweet times with friends!