East Asia Prayer Requests.

Hi,Thank you so much for all your prayers and support in helping me go to East Asia on June 27-August 9. I am super excited as the date to depart approaches! God has been extremely faithful to me through this time of preparation and I know He's going to work mightily and blow all my expectations away on this trip. As I leave in less than a weekfor East Asia, I ask for prayer for these specific things:
- Pray for the unity of my team and that we would use the gifts Godhas given each of us. (Ephesians 4: 2-7)
- Pray that the Holy Spirit would lead us and give us boldness tospeak the Gospel. (Acts 4:29-31, Luke 12:12)
- Pray for God's love to flow through us so that others would seethatwe are His disciples and glorify Him. (John 13:34-35)
- Pray that we would trust in God and not on our own ways or our ownstrength. (Prov. 3:5-6)
- Pray that God would open up the hearts of those we speak to sothatthey may know Him. (Romans 10:10)
- Pray for clarity as we communicate the Gospel to them. (Acts 2:6)- Pray for the safety of the nationals.
- Pray for the safety of our team.
- Pray for our health.
- Pray for the conference we are going to in Korea, Campus Mission2007.
- Pray that we would be open to God's Word and His teaching.- Pray for my team leaders, Kevin and Jenn Lamb.
- Pray for those on my team who still need to raise support.
- Pray for me, that God would keep me humble and grow me inhumility.(Philippians 2)- Pray that God would remove the fear of man in me.
- Pray that we would seek His Kingdom first. (Matthew 5:33)
- Pray that entrance and exit to the country would be smooth andthatwe would not encounter any problems.
- Pray that God would grow our dependence, love, joy, and desire forHim.

Thanks again so much! I <3 you all! If there is anything I can bepraying for you about, just email me. I probably won't be able to sendor receive emails during the trip, but I will be sure to check themright when I get back! May God bless you and enrich you in His love and grace."You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on ourbehalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."2 Corinthians 1:11

finale.

alas, another year has gone by. praise God for faithfulness this year! He's been so good to me, too good for me, really.
as my second year of college comes to an end, i'm quite excited for what is in store for the next...
woot woot! east asia here i come!

hello goodbyes.

it's tenth week. i should be writing a paper but instead i'm practicing my writing skills here.
anyway, as the school year nears the end, i've realized how wonderful this year has been and how many amazing things God has done this year. and it's been such fun times and it's been sad that this week are the lasts of many things such as:
monday - last prayer team meeting: our team dynamic year was so great! God was so faithful in giving us unity of mind. We definitely were like a family.
also last epic meeting full of k-town fun with bbq and karaoke. aww, good times.
tuesday - last W-band practice. we were like a family too, especially after spending the whole day recording last sunday. i'll miss them and playing the rhodes. but thankfully, i'll see them again during our next recording sesh.
last Bible study meeting @ Cafe 50s. such a cute place with a cute group.

and then some coming up...
wednesday - last d-time with brittany. last real life.
thursday - last day of class.

so i say hello goodbyes. i can't believe all the seniors are graduating. i will miss all of them dearly. they were an amazing class.

but i also say hello to the summer. i'm so excited for east asia! but i must now, keep focused on the here and now and be diligent where God has placed me now...so i will go and write my paper.

Dancing in Delight.

"The Lord your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy."
~Zephaniah 3:17

Yay! Praise God! He has renewed the joy in me once again! Thank you for your prayers. I've gotten some much needed rest and sleep. It's been good. God is good.

So this verse has come up alot recently, and it really amazes me how God delights in us as His children. He is our Abba, Father, and He loves us so much. He is in our midst. His presence never leaves us. His Holy Spirit indwells in us. He is a victorious warrior. Jesus Christ has conquered death and hell, and He has given us eternal life through the Cross and Resurrection. He is strong and mighty: a warrior. What an interesting picture, a paradox: Jesus Christ is our Warrior - mighty, fierce, powerful, over sin and death - yet He also is so joyous over us. He exults overs us with his joy and rejoices over us with shouts of joy. Another paradox: Jubilantly and loudly God delights in us. His love is extravagant and exuberant. And He also is quiet in His love. Steadfast, calm, peaceful. He is so gentle, so sweet.

I also thought about how He is quiet in His love in response to how I was feeling last week. God is always near and always faithful to us, but sometimes He is quieter than at other times. We must realize that He is always faithful and true no matter what we feel. But God also demonstrates His love for us in awesome and wonderous ways that just blow us away.

I love the song "Amazed" by Jared Anderson. It describes so very aptly my sentiments right now.

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord, I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me

You paint the morning sky
With miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me.

Sickness.

1 Corinthians 1:29-27
"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God."

Recently, I've been having stomach pains, probably due to lack of boundaries --> lack of rest --> lack of sleep + stress + whole wheat products. God has been teaching me alot through this time of physical weakness. He's been humbling me and breaking me of my pride and thinking that I'm invincible and don't need rest. He's showing me that I need to take care of my body, and that He created my body to be frail, so that I would depend on Him. Sleep is sign of dependence on God. I have been neglecting to rest in God. I have been breaking the Sabbath. I have been neglecting the gift of sleep and my need for sleep and rest. And now it has taken its toll on my body.

Not only on my body, but also on my spiritual well-being. I haven't been as excited or passionate lately, and it's because I'm burned out. I'm tired and I don't have the energy to go on like this. God's been teaching me that I need to rely on Him and not to rely on myself. I need to stop striving and be still before Him. I don't feel as intimate or close to God as I have before. But even through this God has been teaching me not to depend on my own feelings, but to focus on His objective saving Truth. Jesus Christ died for my sin so that I may have life! That is what matters!

"Our life in Christ is based on objective truth, and the chief truth among the innumerable glorious truths of Scripture is that Jesus died for your sins. That's the heart of the gospel."
~C.J. Mahaney

Yesterday, we had a sweet time of intense prayer during Real Life and it was exciting to see how many people stayed and the intensity and passion of everyone there. It's exciting and encouraging to see how God is moving and how He is reviving people's hearts. Yet, honestly, I didn't feel as excited or passionate as everyone around me because I wasn't feeling very well, and again God reminded me that it's not about what I feel, it's about how He is moving and working and that He died to set me free! That is what matters!

Something I realized this morning: Whenever there are intense times of prayer within Crusade, I'm usually sick. I think this is God's way of humbling me: to show me that it is nothing on my own power, but only by His strength, so I will not boast in anything I've done, because it's nothing that I've done, and only by God's power. He uses the weak things of this world so that His power may be made even more known. Praise God.

I'm still not feeling the greatest. Please pray that God would once again light that fire within me. Please pray that I would not focus on my feelings and focus on God's awesome truth, and that through that He would give me more passion and more excitement for His Gospel and His amazing grace!

The Cross Centered Life.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarecly die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die - but God shows his love for us in that while were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."
Romans 5:6-11

I just finished reading The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, and it was a sweet read.

It's a short and simple 88 pages, but the message it brings is the heaviest and most important thing in life. Jesus Christ took my sin and shame upon Himself on the Cross so that I can have life in Him! How great and wonderful is that? Oh, how many times has this message grown callous to me? I hear it, and just think, "Been there. Done that." Like a checklist. But accepting the Gospel is not just a one time prayer, it is a relationship, it is life, it is everything. It reminds me to keep the Cross center of everything - to keep Jesus Christ on the forefront of my mind, to gaze my eyes fixed at His Cross, to awaken my heart to see the glories of Calvary, to grow deeper and deeper in experiencing the Cross, to live each day, moment, second in light of the Gospel. It warns me from basing my life around three things:

"1. Legalism, which means basing our relationship with God on our performance.
2. Condemnation, which means being more focused on our sin than on God's grace.
3. Subjectivism, which means basing our view of God our changing feelings and emotions."

Wow, that's exactly what God's been teaching me this past year: breaking my idols of legalism, condemnation, and subjectivism to replace them with more of His cross and more of Him. How many times have I struggled through these things that take my focus off of Christ and put them on me? I still struggle daily with these things, just this morning during Morning Prayer, I realized I was falling into the tempation of legalism as I was thinking to myself, "O.K., I'm good, I woke up for morning prayer, I can do this. Look, God, see what I'm doing for you." And then even during morning prayer, I think, "Oh, look how eloquent are my words. My words must encourage others." Oh! What a wretched sinner I am, and how prideful my heart is! By God's grace and His forgiveness, He has given me life and the strength to do anything. I can't do anything without Him, and it's not by my power, but it's His alone.

And then, I can fall into the trap of condemnation - thinking to myself, "Wow, I can't believe that I thought those things while I was praying. Ugh, how can God love me? I hate that I'm like this. I hate it," forgetting to recieve God's grace and forgiveness. My salvation is secure in Him, He has forgiven me. I don't need to beat myself up. Lord, help me to recieve Your grace.

Last week, I was really feeling dry, and I beat myself up for not feeling near to God, instead of focusing on God's truth, and rejoicing that He has saved me. Oh, may my eyes gaze on the objective Truth of God's Gospel and may He be my Solid Rock.

Lord, keep my eyes focused on Your Gospel, on Your Cross. Never allow me to minimize Your salvation, Your redeeming love. Break down my pride. Break down my idols. Break down my self-dependence. Help me to wholly depend on You. Help me to grow deeper and deeper in love with You. In Your Name, Amen.

Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

paradox.

i'm a fan of paradox, oxymoron, and irony.

i was just updating my facebook profile and included these things about me:

Interests:
Jesus Christ. prayer. paradox. Christian Hedonism. dying to live. humble orthodoxy. Biblical femininity. holy desperation. passionate puritanism. speaking truth in love. fearless submission. servant leadership. radical traditions. having abundant life through self-denial. freedom in discipline. satisfaction in hunger. loving despite hate. quiet revolution. finding strength in my weakness, joy through sorrow, pleasure in pain, wealth in need. revival. people. community. books. music. beneficial blogs. smiles. the innocence of children. laughing. writing. Filipino food. international cultures. missions. rhodes tickles. yamaha mo8 hammer action. my synth, barnabas. my guitar, sunset.

I also love how God is a God of extremes because He is infinite and all-knowing, but He calls us to balance because we are finite and limited.

I thought about this last Monday while talking to Joyce. Good times.