The Two Cities Blog

I started writing for a blog called The Two Cities...

Check it out!

http://www.thetwocities.com/the-two-cities-team/

Endings and Beginnings.

I start my first ever full-time job this week. I guess I'm growing up.

After 21 years being a student (with 8 years of higher education), it feels strange to not be in school anymore. While I'm still working on a college campus and still feel the excitement of the start of a new school year, it is a foreign feeling not having to go to class. Being a student has been part of my identity for such a long time, that it's quite a transition not having the comfort of being in a classroom. I think about how I can continue to learn, grow, and study on my own - and actually now have the freedom to read what I want. It's a pretty exciting thing.

It's also strange not being on Talbot A.S., and having all of those responsibilities, after being on it for the past 3 years. I'm thankful for the rest of not being on the team anymore, and now have the energy to pursue my own social activities (like going to 10 concerts this summer), but I do miss it. That team provided such great community for me, and I learned so much through it. This awkward, introverted, shy girl blossomed into a more sociable person through the love and support of that team. I actually like being with people now.

It was my last week working in Graduate Admissions last week after two years of working part-time there, and I am so thankful for the people in that department who have encouraged me in such amazing ways. They believed and empowered me, especially during a time where I really doubted myself and my own capabilities. As we joke and call the communal cubicle space that I worked in, the "communal nest," as cliche as it sounds,  I felt like I was this baby bird with a broken wing when I started working there, and that place was a place of healing and growth for me. I will greatly miss working in that department. 

As I think about where God has me in the present, I look at how it's so unexpected. I never thought I would be at Biola this long, let alone be working in the Purchasing department. It's mysterious the way my journey has unfolded, and I see how God's been so gracious in leading me just one step at a time. While I've always had these grand visions and long-term plans for myself, God's always just shows me the next step. Sometimes I get frustrated not knowing the future, but I do see how it is God's grace to me in just showing me one step, because I know I would be overwhelmed if I saw His whole plan. And I guess this is where the beauty of surrender lies. I'm still learning what it means to be open-handed in this process.

I do have a desire to write a part 2 of my thesis one day to focus on the healing part of shame (hopefully as a doctoral dissertation or maybe a book), but I don't really know how that's going to pan out, so I'll hold it as open-handed as I can, and just take it one step at a time.

(Photo  All rights reserved by alec's)

Graduation Reflections

Graduation Reflections 

by Grace Sangalang (Notes) on Monday, June 10, 2013 at 1:45am

(A Note I Shared on Facebook)

"5 years is a long time. Alot of things can happen in 5 years." I remember I wrote this in a notebook during my last year in college, as I anticipated the next step. Little did I know that I would spend the next five years at Talbot. 

As I reflect on my 5 years as a student at Talbot, I am so overwhelmed and grateful for the Lord's faithfulness and goodness to me. It has been such a rich experience, not only growing in head knowledge about God and His Word, but also growing in understanding of His love, presence, and Spirit in deeper ways I would never have expected or even imagined. It's been a hard road - I've experienced the deepest pain during my time at Talbot, but I have also experienced the greatest joys. I've learned more about myself, how God has shaped me, my identity in Christ, and have a clearer vision of His calling on my life. 

I am thankful for the tangible ways the Lord has shown me His love and care through community from such sweet friendships with amazing people. I am so grateful for the hugs, prayers, encouraging words, compassionate presence, gifts, love, and care from the community at Talbot. During times when I didn't think I would make it, or I just wanted to quit and give up, the Lord would send someone to encourage me along the way. 

So, I write this to thank each of you for your love and care for me. I am so blessed by your friendship, and I am a changed person because of you. You've shown me Jesus.

(Photos courtesy of Alister Scott Uy)

Restoring the Shamed.

I'm currently reading this book for my thesis: Restoring the Shamed: Towards a Theology of Shame by Robin Stockitt. It's the most thorough Biblical and theological exploration of shame that I've read so far, and it's really readable. I like it alot.

I started crying when I read this part about Christ's crucifixion:

“At each stage of his arrest, trial, and execution Jesus is ritually, intentionally, and sadistically shamed, and with each succeeding humiliating incident he absorbs it and inverts its meaning...His death on the cross was the product of powerful political and spiritual forces ranged against him yet he chose freely to enter that place of shame. The decision was entirely his and in so doing he displayed a dignity that could never finally be removed from him. Shame is turned repeatedly into honor and this is how he “shamed shame” for us. The combination of shaming events is presented by the Gospel writers to illustrate the depths to which Christ was shamed on our behalf. In so doing Christ’s actions draw a deep resonance from deep within all those who have ever entered into their own shamed condition.

That personal journey of exploration is, for many, almost too painful and dark to endure. Shame resides in the primal, existential part of us that is unutterable in its intensity. It expresses itself at times in the simple but tortured cry from the heart: Not good enough! It is the experience of sensing that we are not good enough to merit the exuberant grace of God and that maybe we are also good enough to simply belong to human society and find a place of dignity. It is a truly desperate disease of the soul. If the atonement is only framed in judicial terms, with a declaration of “innocence” being pronounced upon those who put their trust in Christ, then I fear that the intensity of the shame experience will remain untouched. If the story of Jesus is retold, however, in terms of the one who deliberately, intentionally, purposefully seeks out all those who have been shamed – as well as those who have been the instigators of shame – then the narrative takes on a far deeper, more personal, more transforming hue. It is that Christ who not only understands our shamed condition but who has himself entered into the depths of shame for us. He has lowered himself down to the bottom of that poisoned well and drunk it dry” (140).

This thesis-writing process has definitely been a whole head-and-heart experience, and not just an academic endeavor. It is painful entering into feeling these deep places of shame, but I am comforted in knowing that Christ is with me, right here. He knows and understands these feelings of shame, entering this shame and taking it upon Himself, and He loves me here, and gently tells me to receive His love and grace. I think this Lenten season will be quite an experience for me, in contemplating the Cross, and Christ's great love for me. 

Currently listening to: Lent by The Brilliance. 

The Road Ahead

A prayer that I have been reflecting on from Vocation class, which has been comforting to me as I approach graduation:

The Road Ahead by Thomas Merton

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,

and the fact that I am following 

your will does not mean

that I am actually doing so.

But I believe the desire to please you

does in fact please you.

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this,

you will lead me by the right road ahead though 

I may know nothing about it

Therefore, will I trust you always

though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, 

and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Little Eyes.

If you haven't already seen it all over my facebook, my nephew, Jackson Alexander Delacruz Sangalang (JAx for short) was born on November 14, 2012. He is the cutest baby ever! I already love him so much :) Being an auntie is great.

I wrote a lullaby for the occasion of his birth. It's pretty cheesy,  but I just wanted to commemorate this joyous occasion with a song. I sang it to him yesterday with Team Glasses, and he fell asleep, so I guess that's a good sign, since that's the purpose of lullabies. It's been fun jammin' with Team Glasses again, since it's been awhile since we've played music together.

Little Eyes
Little eyes to see the world
Open up to the universe.
Little hands to reach out
And touch the sky.
Little mouth to scream and shout
Tell the world you're here!
Baby JAx, Baby JAx, you're here.

We're so glad, we're so glad!
You've brought so much joy to our hearts!
How could we know
Such a tiny little nose,
Would make such room in our hearts?
Baby JAx, Baby JAx, life now starts.

My Thesis Adventure Begins.

Tonight I started reading Growing Healthy Asian American Churches, edited by Peter Cha, Steve Kang, and Helen Lee. This was one of the books that Ben Shin had in the syllabus for the Asian American Church in Society Class that I audited last spring. I finally have a chance to do the reading, and now that I’m starting to do research for my Master’s thesis, I figured it would be a good time to read this book.

It’s only been a week since I’ve been processing the decision to stay in the M.A. emphasis in Spiritual Formation, and to do the thesis, instead of switching to the M.A. Soul Care Program, which I had been contemplating for awhile. After talking to different people, I realized that I really do enjoy research and writing, and that doing the thesis would be a good fit for me. Plus, I get to finish this spring, and while I love Biola, I am getting that itch to travel and to go somewhere new. The thesis would also provide me with a writing sample if I want to continue on to Ph.D. studies.

I've been interested in Asian-American Spiritual Formation, and more specifically, how the shame-based culture affects our view and relationship with God. I was reading the first chapter, on Grace-Filled Households by Nancy Sugikawa and Steve Wong, and as I started reading the different stories and how shame permeates the Asian-American church, I started crying, and then interceding on behalf of the Asian-American church. I felt the pain and the burden that the weight of this shame holds, and how it is hard for us to receive grace and the abundance of the Father. I know this pain and burden because I’ve carried the shame of living with depression for the past decade. Yet, I also see how God’s love has been giving me greater freedom, and how exposing the darkness in my own life to God and to others, and allowing God’s light and love to shine and heal those places, I’ve experienced such great freedom and joy. And I want this freedom for the Asian-American church. I want people to truly experience God’s love and freedom, the way I’ve experienced His love and freedom. I want people to come out of hiding into His marvelous light. And I’m one of those people. I’m still on this journey towards healing and freedom, and there are still many places where I need to receive the Lord’s grace. But OH! How different I am from that girl who entered seminary 5 years ago! Oh, how much God has brought such grace, healing, and freedom! I started singing worship songs to the Lord, such as “Freedom Reigns,” “Blessed,” “My Redeemer’s Love,” “Your Love is Extravagant.” Oh, how sweet it is to sing to the Lord!

Since I wasn’t expecting to write a thesis, I hadn’t really thought about thesis-writing before, and yesterday, as I was thinking about it, I was getting very anxious, thinking about the amount of research and writing I would have to do on top of other school work, A.S., and work, and I was getting really stressed out. I was at work, and Annalyssa was kind enough to give me a neck massage. And then I prayed, and told the Lord about my anxiety, and I felt like he was saying to just take one day, one step at a time, and to just be who I am, and enjoy this process, and that He would take care of the rest. I like research and writing. Some of the most joyful moments of my life have been during writing papers, when the Lord would just remind me of His love, and I would just want to start dancing.

There's that quote by Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire that everyone always quotes,
"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. 
And when I run I feel his pleasure."

In the same way, I feel that when I write, I feel His pleasure.
And again, I'm reminded that I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Lord, I ask that you'd use me as a vessel, as a mouthpiece, for your love and freedom.
I ask for your mercy and grace in this process of writing.
I need your strength and endurance. 
I need You. 

And after this experience, I realize that I really do need to pace myself and give myself space if this is what is going to happen to me when I just read a few pages of a book ;P

And please pray with/for me as I start this endeavor. Thanks! :)

Jammin' with Jane

So I've been jammin' with Jane lately. It's been a lot of fun :)

She is pretty cool and is a Christian Apologist with Ratio Christi.
Ratio Christi (Latin for ‘The Reason of Christ’) is a global movement that equips university students and faculty to give historical, philosophical, and scientific reasons for following Jesus Christ. Bringing together faith and reason in order to establish the intellectual voice of Christ in the University, Ratio Christi is placing Christian apologetics clubs at universities around the world. We unashamedly defend the veracity of God, the Bible, and Christ’s resurrection and engage in the battle for the mind. 

Here are a couple videos from our latest jam sesh:

My Redeemer's Love cover 

(Sorry about the blurriness) 

You Came 

An O.G. (Original Grace) Composition

Harana.

I came across a website today about a documentary called Harana.

The Philippine form of courtship known as Harana (translated as serenade) where a man pursued a woman by singing underneath her window at night seems so much more romantic than modern-day methods of dating.

I want to see this documentary.

Sigh, one day, I would like to be harana'd by the right guy.

I guess I am much more of a hopeless romantic than I care to admit ;P , or perhaps just an old soul, longing for those good ol' days.

Picture from http://www.filamako.com/2010/02/harana-courtship-filipino-style/

Reveling in a Field of Flowers.

There are so many things I feel like I need to write about and update.

Some highlights from the past couple of weeks:

April 27 - Talbot Spring Banquet. 'Twas such a fun night. I love our team. They all did such a great job. I'm so thankful for all the gifts and talents that each one brings, and seeing everyone work together. Although there was alot to be done, I truly felt a freedom that I'd never felt before - a sense of being comfortable in my own skin in this community, even in front of a room of 150 people. I really enjoyed singing and playing the violin with Michael and Crystal, and leading others in worship. It was such a privilege, and even though I was initially nervous, during the actual time, I felt the Lord's presence in that room. It was such a sweet moment being able to worship together with the Talbot community.
It has been such a great blessing and encouragement to have the opportunity to live life with them this past year. They are truly a family to me. I will greatly miss this team next year.

Last weekend right after Spring Banquet, I went on a 48-hour retreat in Santa Barbara. So refreshing. Reveled in nature, and in the love of God. My retreat partner, Kat, planned a retreat for me that consisted of reveling in the banquet that the Lord has for me, and being cared for by Him.  The retreat center was up in the mountains, overlooking the ocean. So lovely. 

This past weekend, I just went to  the Asian Pacific Islander Women's Leadership Conference with Dr. Sheryl Silzer and Noelle. Dr. Silzer co-teaches the Asian Church in American Society class with Professor Ben Shin at Talbot which I'm currently auditing. It is such a great class! She wrote a book called, Biblical Multicultural Teams and she does workshops all over the world for missions teams on cross-cultural communication. I loved having the opportunity to spend time with her and Noelle and hearing her life story.

I also met alot of other really amazing API women. I feel encouraged and affirmed in where God has me now and in the path that He is drawing me to in taking spiritual formation to the Asian-American community, more specifically, to the Filipino-American community. It is so good to connect with other women who love the Lord and are leaders in their respective communities, and to see some familiar faces, like seeing and hearing Vivian Mabuni. It's exciting to meet others who are interested in these issues of faith, culture, and gender - how they all relate to each other and intersect. I loved being able to talk to other Fil-Am women about the ways our culture affects our spirituality as a community, and how we can find freedom from the strongholds that keep us tied down to the lies of the enemy, from believing that we are God's beloved children.  One of these ladies - Ella deCastro Baron, a Fil-Am author and poet, of Itchy Brown Girl Seeks Employment shared some of her poetry with us, and I had a chance to talk to her about where some of the roots of those strongholds come from. Since the Filipino people have been dominated by so many others in their history, there is a lack of a sense of having our own identity, and there are feelings of being subjugated and inferior that permeate the culture. There are deep roots of a sense of being orphans and fatherless, which can keep us from embracing who we are as children of God, and feeling the nearness of God as our Father.

I got prayed over on Saturday by a woman I had never met before, and she spoke words of freedom over me that were so powerful. I didn't even say anything about myself or what what I needed prayer for. We just sat in silence and then she saw a picture of me sitting in a field of flowers, just enjoying them with Jesus, and then gave me Luke 2:27-31:

²⁷ Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ²⁸ But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ²⁹ And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. ³⁰ For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.³¹ Instead, seek his^[e] kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

I envision this field that I sat in during my retreat. It was such a gift and nourishing to my soul:

It's exactly what I needed to hear, especially after feeling anxiety about my future and also seeing some old burdens that I still carry. I know the Lord is inviting me to revel with Him in that field of flowers. He is leading me on to this journey of freedom, and reminds me that it is a process, and that there are these places of rest along the journey.

I love how the Lord works - how He speaks through people, and knows exactly what I need.

Thank You, Lord for Your mercy and love.

This journey to freedom hasn't been easy - it has been painful and difficult at times. Even right now as I write a paper for ISF, I find myself writing and crying as I face the brokeness in my life and history. (A reason I'm writing this blog post is one of the ways I'm taking a break from the heaviness of writing that paper...a.k.a. perhaps, a method of procrastination.) After this conference, I'm realizing that this is much bigger than myself - that this invitation to freedom is not just for me, but for my whole community. Come, Lord Jesus, Come. Set us free.

Today I'm reminded that I'm in the right place.

I need to start writing consistently again. I need to write: 

To remember the glimpses I see of God’s goodness around me. 

To see how He’s inviting me to partner with Him.

To notice the ways He's working.

This past weekend, I went to the CMTA conference to promote Biola's graduate programs. It’s interesting encountering different people at conferences - seeing familiar faces, and meeting many new people.

I think the coolest thing that happened to me at the conference was meeting Jan Johnson, an author, speaker, and spiritual director. She just came up to our booth and just started talking to me, so I told her what I was doing and what I was studying, and she got really excited about it, especially the whole Asian-American spiritual formation thing. She encouraged me to write down my thoughts, even if they weren’t fully formulated - to just start writing. She told me that it usually took her five years of thinking and jotting down notes about things before she actually even starts writing a book. And she told me to write my thoughts on Asian-American spirituality and to send what I write to her. Wow, that was really encouraging for me – that someone like her, a published author, would actually want to read what I write. Sweet deal. That was a total God appointment.

It's times like these that I'm reminded that I'm in the right place. I know there’s a reason why God’s put this passion in my heart. I sometimes wonder, Lord, where are you taking me? Where is this really going to lead? He reminds me to just trust Him one step at a time, and encourages me through different people and situations. It's times like these that I'm affirmed that I’m in the right place. And I know there’s a reason for this journey that I’m on...

Freedom. Grace. Hope. Transformation.

Walking with Grief.

"Walking with Grief" from The Celtic Daily Prayer Book

Do not hurry

as you walk with grief;

it does not help the journey.

Walk slowly,

pausing often:

do not hurry

as you walk with grief.

Be not disturbed

by memories that come unbidden.

Swiftly forgive;

and let Christ speak for you

unspoken words.

Unfinished conversation

will be resolved in Him.

Be not disturbed.

Be gentle with the one

who walks with grief.

If it is you,

be gentle with yourself.

Swiftly forgive;

walk slowly,

pausing often.

Take time, be gentle

as you walk with grief.

In Memory of Jovanna Choi. You will be missed. I will see you again one day...Enjoy your time up there in the presence of the Lord. 'Til we meet again.

Another Semester...

Quick update:

Went to the PI for 3 weeks to visit family. Above is a silly picture of my fam bam. They are pretty awesome. Good times.

Now I'm back at Talbot for another semester, continuing the M.A. Spiritual Formation program. I am so glad to be back. I really do feel like Biola is my home :)

First week was super long, but good.

I am excited for what the Lord has in store for this semester...

Here's a picture of our A.S. team from last weekend during planning retreat...

I love them alot. It's pretty awesome getting to serve the Talbot community with my friends :)

I am currently listening to : Hope for a Tree Cut Down by the Church of the Beloved...

http://www.byfor.org/project_hope_for_a_tree.html

I like it alot. Reminds me that I am loved by God.

One song that I especially like is called Blessed by Tara Ward, inspired by Henry Nouwen's book Life of the Beloved. I heard it while visiting Redeemer church in La Mirada a couple weeks ago. They played it during communion. It moved me to tears. Here are the lyrics:

We need reminding always that we belong

to a loving God who wont leave us alone,

but will remind us we are guided

by love on every step of our lives.

Receive. Receive. Receive the blessing of God.

And be reminded we are guided

by love on every step of our lives.

YAY! I'M GRADUATING!

I am so happy :)

Now that I'm done with finals, I can fully celebrate graduating! Yay! I was so excited to turn in my final paper on Tuesday that I skipped across Metzger Lawn with Jamie. It was so much fun :) Then on Tuesday night, I watched Midnight in Paris at the dollar theater with Michael, Mel, Maling, Annalyssa, Andrew, and Babs. When we got home, the roommies and I had a dance party amongst the three of us in our living room to celebrate being done with finals. After my final Greek class on Wednesday night, I skipped down the Talbot hallway with Annalyssa, had a Guppy's run with the roommies, and watched Polar Express in the A.S. office. Today, I am looking forward to getting hooded at Baccalaureate and then Graduation is tomorrow! WHOOOOOOOO! Let the celebration continue!

God has been so faithful to me :)

This song pretty much sums it all up. "Never Once" will be my graduation anthem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA

Never Once

by Matt Redman

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we’ve come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You’ve done

Knowing every victory

Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful You are faithful, God,

You are faithful You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Nearing the End.

Graduation is only 2 weeks away! As graduation approaches, I've been reflecting on the Lord's goodness to me during my time at Talbot, and His transforming work in my life.

I read a few papers from the past few years, and I am overwhelmed by His steadfast love and mercy.

This is the application portion from a paper I wrote on Romans 8:1-11 last fall semester (October 27, 2010), for my Romans class. I actually wrote about the experience in a previous blog post:

"The present realities that there is no condemnation in Christ and the Spirit lives within believers are freeing and exciting truths for believers! These truths describe the life we have in Christ and in the Spirit, which is not a struggle between flesh and spirit – a battle that seems hopeless, but it is a life that is characterized by life and peace. The truth that the very Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us is powerful.

Writing this paper brought great joy to me, because as I meditated on these truths, I saw and felt much hope and freedom. Because I often feel guilt and condemnation which leads to a spiral down into despair, the truth that there is no condemnation in Christ is greatly freeing. For someone who struggles with the guilt and shame of depression, this truth has been transforming for me and gives me great hope. The reality that the Spirit lives within me and that there is life and power in Him also gives me great hope as I know this is a struggle that is not hopeless, but that there is victory and there is hope in the transforming work of the Spirit. While it is hard to confront the pain of looking at myself and the pain of my past, I see the hope that Christ and the Spirit give. Even in the pain and suffering, I know that Christ is holding me in His loving arms and that the Spirit’s power lives within me – and this gives me great comfort and hope.

I found so much joy in these truths that I actually started dancing in the middle of writing this paper because I cannot contain the joy that I feel while thinking about the great freedom and hope I have in Christ. I am thankful for the consolation God has given me while writing this paper, since it has been awhile since I’ve felt this excited. I love the truths of Romans 8 and having the opportunity to study these truths. I am now exuding with joy."

As I read this paper today, I was moved to tears at the how the Lord has truly brought so much freedom to my life. Even in the midst of a time when I was in a deep depression, the Lord showed me the transforming power of His truth and love through His Word, and through community. I am not the same person I was when I entered Talbot three and a half years ago, or even a year ago, and I am thankful for the Lord's grace in my life.

I am overjoyed! This picture is from a Talbot hoodie photo shoot, courtesy of Wade Chan. I love this jumping picture with my fellow Talbot A.S. teammates with Josh, Andrew, Annalyssa, and Crystal.

I also love this picture - just shows how amazing our Talbot faculty and staff are. From the left: Dr. Richard Rigsby - Hebrew professor/Talbot Bible Lands professor/my Talbot grandpa; Dr. Scott Rae - Philosophy Professor; Anita Regehr - Talbot receptionist a.k.a. Talbot mom; Gail Neal - Bible Exposition/Philosophy Departmental secretary.

Thankful.

It's 3 a.m. and I can't fall asleep, so I figure, might as well write a blog post since I haven't updated in awhile.

As Thanksgiving approaches and graduation is less than month away, there are many things to be thankful for. Today, I am especially thankful for:

- My fellow first-years in the Spiritual Formation program (a.k.a. my ISF cohort group). I did my Family Sculpture today, and I just felt so loved by their listening ears and prayerful hearts.

-Fun music and good times with friends. I saw Andrew Figueroa Chiang and the Blazing Rays of the Sun, Connie Lim, and Jane Lui, last Saturday at the Hotel Cafe with Edith and Lyndsey. It was so much fun :)

-The Lord's goodness and transforming work. I just think about where I was a year and a half ago, and I am so thankful that I see evidences of His love and grace, that I can smile and say that I do feel joy and life :)

-Cheap, good haircuts at Paul Mitchell's School and roommie time with Mel and Maling.

- Friends who have shown me what relationship means -rejoicing with me in the good, and holding me in the bad, for loving me, praying for me, and being there for me.

-The Family of God - seeing God's love and grace through my brothers and sisters in Christ, especially the Talbot family.

-Having the privilege of studying at Talbot. It's been an amazing 3 1/2 years. I am utterly amazed and blown away by the Lord's goodness and grace. And I am so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness in getting me through my first degree. I can't believe I'll be graduating with an M.A. in Bible Exposition in less than a month!

Much Ado About Autumn Again.

Last Thursday, we had our first big A.S. event for the year: Much Ado About Autumn: A Talbot Family Celebration. It was so much fun! Many families came, and it was a joy to be able to celebrate God's provision and just have fun. There was a bounce house, petting zoo, games, food, and drinks. At the end of the night, we had a more intimate time of prayer and worship to just praise God and give thanks for what He has done in our community.

We also had "Ebenezer" stones where families could write how God's provided for them.

Even though it was busy preparing for the event and during the event, I thoroughly enjoyed everything we did. I remember last year, when I was so stressed out during this first event - feeling like I was crumbling under the pressure, that after it was all over, I just felt like hiding in a hole and never coming out. I am thankful for the team that the Lord placed around me, that even when I felt weak, that they loved and supported me through it. I am thankful that there are signs of growth this year: that I didn't feel stressed out and that I was able to enjoy it.

I love seeing Talbot students and faculty with their families - seeing the different sides of these men and women as fathers, grandfathers, mothers, grandmothers, husbands, and wives. I love seeing kids and parents playing, singing and dancing. Oh to be a kid again! Such simplicity and such joy! I love being able to worship God and praise Him with other students. I enjoyed coming together with the new A.S. team this year, co-laboring with them in this ministry. It makes my heart full of joy and gratitude :)

It's begun...

My 4th year at Talbot.

Last semester in the M.A. Bible Exposition program. Starting my journey in the M.A. in Spiritual Formation program.

I've been meditating on Psalm 1 recently:

The Way of the Righteous and the Wicked

¹Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
²but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

³He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers. ⁴The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

⁵Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
⁶for the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

I've been reflecting on how God's grown me in the past year - how he's been rebuilding a stronger foundation after the foundation I thought I had crumbled to pieces - how He's deepened my roots like a tree and now I actually see fruit, and I am so grateful :)

God is so good and faithful, and His steadfast love endures forever.

Even just looking at the change of how I actually was able to really enjoy Welcome Week this year, instead of being so crazy stressed out and wanting to withdraw like I did last year, is exciting to me.

New A.S. team. We had our planning retreat at Hilltop last weekend. Good times. Amazing people. Excited to see how God's working and how He will work this year.

I'm Biola official.

It's official.

Yesterday was my first day being a staff person at Biola, working as the Assistant to the Manager of Recruiting and Outreach of Graduate Programs - Graduate Admissions. I get to tell people how amazing Biola's grad programs are and convince them to come here.

It's pretty sweet how God has provided this opportunity for me. I'm super thankful :)

*And if you or anyone you know is interested in Biola's grad programs, tell them to call me ;)

Jacaranda Trees.

6.1.11

The first day of June.

“Look at the trees, Papa. They’re purple!”

“Yes, sweetie, they are purple. Come on, don’t dilly-dally. Mommy’s waiting for us.”

“O.K., Daddy, can I just pick up one flower from the purple tree? There’s so much on the ground.”

She went under the tree, picked up one of the small blossoms on the dewy ground, feeling the wet flower on her fingers. She pulled the blossom apart, leaving only the innards- bare and exposed.

“Come on, sweetie, we need to go. Pick up your pace. Hold my hand.”

She dropped the flower on the ground, and stepped on the blossoms that lined the floor. One step at a time, she felt the squishiness beneath her feet, as if she were walking on a kind of carpet. Looking under one of her shoes, she saw that there were flower bits all over the bottom. She scraped the flower bits off on the curb.

“Daddy, can we have purple trees in our backyard? I want to have a purple tree.”

“Sure, sweetie. You can have a purple tree.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, of course. Now, come on, keep up.”

So, she ran to catch up with her father who was now three feet ahead of her. She walked two steps for every one of his large strides, walking doubly fast to keep up with him, and she held his hand.